What Our Fantasies Mean and Sex Coaching with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

Listen to "What Our Fantasies Mean and Sex Coaching with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey".

In this episode, Hannah is joined by Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, who is a psychologist and an intimacy and sex coach.Lori Beth discusses the work she does and some of her own personal experiences. She and Hannah talk about the difference between sex therapy and sex coaching, and some of the problems her clients come to her with around desire and arousal. Hannah and Lori Beth discuss what our sexual fantasies really mean about our deepest desires, how fantasies can differ from what we actually want in real life, and how to use our fantasies to benefit us instead of making us feel ashamed.

CW: Lori Beth describes a personal experience of sexual violence at 29:57 - 31:00. This episode also includes discussion of sexual violence and trauma in the context of sex therapy and coaching throughout the episode as well as discussion of consensual non-consensual fantasies and how they can affect the people having them.

Read the episode transcript here!

SHOW NOTES

What we chat about…

What is a sex coach? What does that mean?
What’s the difference between sex therapy and coaching?
What are sex coaches well-equipped to help with?
Are there different coaching needs for different relationship styles?
Finding therapists that meet your specific needs
Is there an equivalent of a therapist qualification for a sex coach?
The importance of researching your coach beforehand
Has Lori Beth ever had sex coaching?
Exploring and interrogating your own desires
How do you know which fantasies are just fantasies and which ones you want to try out yourself?
Consensual non-consensual fantasies
Taboo fantasies
Removing the shame from fantasies
Lori Beth’s erotic memoir
The difference between intrusive thoughts and sexual fantasies
How did Lori Beth get into sex coaching? Was sexuality always a passion?
Lori’s experience with sexual violence (timestamps: 29:57 - 31:00 to skip)
In Lori’s experience with sex coaching, what’s the most common obstacle to people having a fulfilling sex life.
Tips for developing a more loving relationship to one’s own body/sexuality? (34:57)
How do you get over the barrier of penetration when you’ve never been able to manage PIV (penis in vagina)? (36:22 )
How to navigate different sex drives in a relationship? (38:32)
How to improve your sex drive? (40:32)

USEFUL LINKS

Rape Crisis: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/
Women’s Aid: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Pink Therapy: https://www.pinktherapy.com/
Pink Directory: https://www.pinktherapy.com/en-gb/findatherapist.aspx
International Coaching Federation: https://coachfederation.org/
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski*: https://amzn.to/302KbyL
Dr Martha Tara Lee: https://www.eroscoaching.com/

MORE ABOUT DR LORI BETH BISBEY

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a sex & intimacy coach and psychologist whose expertise lies in working with individuals, couples, and groups to explore their sexuality, discover a deeper level of sexual congruence, heal from past sexual trauma, as well as create more meaningful, pleasurable, exciting, and authentic intimate relationships.