What does Disability & Being Queer Feel Like? with Andrew Gurza
Sexual Health Week may be over, but we’re continuing to chat about all things sex & disability on Doing It! This week, Hannah’s joined by disability consultant Andrew Gurza, who shares his experience of being disabled & queer, and particularly how those two identities interrelate. They also talk about how disabled people are fetishized, why sex workers are seen as ‘noble’ for being with disabled people, and the importance of including disability in sex education. Finally, they ask: why aren’t disabled people allowed to just feel mad sometimes?
Read the episode transcript here!
SHOW NOTES
What we chat about…
Andrew’s viewpoint on sexuality not being taken seriously because of his disability - why do we feel uncomfortable hearing disabled people talk about sex?
How Andrew came to be a disability consultant, after realising at college that he never saw anything about sex and disability
How being queer and being disabled intersect, and Andrew’s experience of not being able to do some sex acts that are expected of a queer man
Being tokenised as a disabled person - just another tick box
Andrew creating the #DisabledPeopleAreHot, which went viral!
How body confidence is a process
Disabled people being with sex workers - Canadian laws around this, whether it’s ‘noble’ for sex workers to do this, or whether disabled people should be treated as just another client
Sex education updates happening in the UK, but the lack of information on disability being included in these updates
Disabled people being at higher risk of abuse, and the importance of sex ed
Hannah’s learning process of being a sex educator and how that’s changed since being disabled
Fetishizing disabled people and the sense of entitlement able bodied people feel in knowing about disabled people’s sex lives - how can we ask these questions appropriately?
Disabled people’s own ableism
Talking about how disability feels vs just focusing on the mechanics of it
The role of intimacy and having intimacy without having sex
How disabled people are presented as people to pity or be inspired by - there’s nothing in between
The stereotype of the ‘angry, disabled person’ and how that stereotypes stops disabled people from feeling mad or angry
Useful Links
Disability After Dark is Andrew’s podcast on sex and disability. Listen: https://open.spotify.com/show/1sojdfQEY2tNio377qM954
The BBC interview with Andrew about the #DisabledPeopleareHot hashtag, which Andrew started and went viral earlier this year. Read more: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/disability-47361736/disabled-people-are-hot
Emily Yates is the accessibility consultant mentioned in the podcast. You can find out more information on her work here: https://www.emilyroseyates.co.uk/
Hannah hosted a Roundtable video on sex and disability last year. Watch: https://youtu.be/AvGNiwR57iI
Ireland’s change in law around those with intellectual disabilities having sex. Read more: https://www.thejournal.ie/people-with-disabilities-sex-law-3390227-May2017/ Sanctuary is a film that explores a relationship between those with intellectual disabilities. Watch the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-OUx3mcIac
Resources from the charity Brook for Sexual Health Week: https://www.brook.org.uk/about-brook/sexual-health-week-2019
MORE ABOUT ANDREW GURZA
Andrew is a Disability Awareness Consultant and also host of the Disability After Dark podcast. In his work, he talks about his lived experiences of disability, queerness, sexuality and body image. Andrew also co-created Deliciously Disabled and has worked with the makers of the dating app ‘Open’ to make the app more inclusive for those with disabilities.
Find out more about Andrew on his podcast, Instagram and Twitter.