Being Trans and Polyamorous with Kat Blaque

This week, Hannah chats to YouTuber Kat Blaque about how and why she shifted from a genderqueer to a binary identity, choosing to define herself as who she knew she really was. Kat also talks us through what it meant to be ‘Done’ with her transition, and how Passing & Stealth are both strategies for survival as a trans person. They also discuss Kat’s discovery of polyamory, and how she realised one person doesn’t have to meet all your needs. Finally, they compare open relationships and polyamory, exploring the similarities & differences.


What we chat about…

  • Kat's YouTube journey; she started on YouTube when she was just 15!

  • Shifting from genderqueer to binary identity, and why Kat initially felt like saying she was genderqueer meant people still got see her in the definitions they were comfortable with rather than what she was comfortable with.

  • Being 'Done' with her transition, and how ‘Done’ means something different to each person.

  • Passing, and how when Kat was younger, being able to pass as a cis person was seen as the ultimate goal, with Stealth still being a strategy for survival.

  • Whether being out and trans affected Kat’s career opportunities.

  • Effectively ‘coming out’ through taking part in a BuzzFeed video about pronouns, and the effect this had on Kat.

  • Going from monogamy to polyamory, and the reading Kat did around this, including the book ‘More Than Two’.

  • Kat discovering from a monogamous relationship that one person can’t actually be our everything, and that it’s healthy to want different things from different people.

  • Whether relationships between monogamous and polyamorous people work.

  • Being polyamorous on dating sites, and the pre-conceptions & misunderstandings that this comes with, as people tend to want you to just join in with a couple.

  • Comparing open relationships to being polyamorous and the difference between the two, including the different connection you’re looking for in a partner.

  • What is means to be a ‘unicorn’, and whether bisexual women are seen as serving a function.

  • The organisation involved in polyamory! Need all the calendars!

  • Starting Out: BDSM Lunches, Swingers & Networking.

Useful Links


Kat is a YouTuber who makes social commentary videos, and a brilliant series called ‘True Tea’, where she shares her personal experiences, including about polyamory and being a trans black woman.

Find out more about Kat on her Twitter and Instagram, and YouTube.




Want early and ad-free access to episodes?

*affiliate links

Hannah Witton