How to Raise Sexually Healthy Children with Melissa Pintor Carnagey

Listen to "How to Raise Sexually Healthy Children with Melissa Pintor Carnagey" on Spreaker.

In this episode, Hannah is joined by Melissa Pintor Carnagey, who is a licensed social worker, sexuality educator, and the founder of Sex Positive Familes. Melissa discusses what Sex Positive Families is and what they do, and also her own personal sexual health journey from being raised in a Catholic family to running a sex-positive organisation. She and Hannah talk about what it means to raise sexually healthy children, and some of the damaging myths surrounding sex education. Finally, Hannah and Melissa discuss examples of how to answer surprising questions from children, and how to build trust with the young people in our lives.

Read the episode transcript here!

SHOW NOTES

What we chat about…

What is Sex Positive Families and how did it start?
What does a “sexually healthy child” mean?
Helping to preserve people’s connection to their own bodies
What can parents and caring adults do to be in a place to be able to and capable of delivering sex education to young people?
Sexual health as a journey, not a destination
The importance of parents unpacking their own sexual health journeys
What messages was Melissa raised with around sex? How did she come to the place she is now?
The religious and sex-negative based messaging around sex that Melissa grew up with
Internalised shame around masturbation
Melissa’s journey raising her first child
What are some of the most damaging myths when it comes to sex ed and children?
What damaging messages can be sent to young people by inadequate sex education?
What are some of the obstacles Melissa has come across in teaching sex education?
Preparation being more important than prevention
What is the appropriate approach to disclosing your own trauma to your child? Is that encouraged or not? Do you involve your children in your own journey?
Finding the middle ground as a parent between being hyperprotective and being too open with your children
Melissa’s experience with abortion
Melissa’s experience of disclosing her experience with abortion to her eldest daughter
Hannah’s experience of discussing abortion with her family
The value of vulnerability in parenting
When and how to start teaching sexual health to children
Opportunities in parenting to start being more intentional about teaching sexual health to children
Is there a limit to what you can answer as a parent when your child asks questions? What if your child asks about positions or orgasms?
The difference between the terms “age-appropriate” and “age-congruent” and which term Melissa prefers
Children’s curiosity being more unfiltered at earlier ages
Gatekeeping vs mentoring
Being authentic as a parent
Seeing children as other humans worthy of respect
How do you navigate other people that you or your children interact with that stigmatise sex?
Being clear about your identity and why you believe what you believe
Melissa’s experience working with non-traditional family structures

USEFUL LINKS

Mentioned in the episode:

Abortion support:
- Alliance 4 Choice (Ireland and Northern Ireland): http://www.alliance4choice.com/
- Abortion Rights UK: https://abortionrights.org.uk/
Trauma support:
- MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/trauma/about-trauma/
Vaginal corona: https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/vaginal-corona-english.pdf

MORE ABOUT SEX POSITIVE FAMILIES AND MELISSA PINTOR CARNAGEY

Melissa Pintor Carnagey (she/they) is the founder of Sex Positive Families. She is an Austin-based licensed social worker, sexuality educator, and parent of three.

Sex Positive Families provides parents and caring adults with the education, resources, and support to raise sexually healthy children using a shame-free, comprehensive, and pleasure-positive approach. Find out more here: