How to Squirt and Pegging 101 with Lola Jean | Transcript
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Hannah Witton
Welcome to Doing It with me, Hannah Witton, where we talk all things sex, relationships, dating, and our bodies. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Doing It. How are you? Honestly, the day I'm recording this intro, I'm not having a great day. Just lots of little things building up, overwhelmed by lockdown, things just going wrong. I had a bit of a stress cry, but feeling a bit better after that cathartic release and trying to focus on the things that I have control over, and one of those things is recording this intro and tell you about my incredible guest this week, Lola Jean. This is also my first ever podcast crossover. Lola has a podcast called Is Our Love and I was a guest on that, which will also be out on the same day as this episode so you can go and support Lola by listening to her podcast and find out a bit more about my love life and relationship for once, as I'm the one being interviewed. But this episode is Lola's interview.
Lola is a sex educator, a fetish wrestler, his interview was the first time I'd heard that term so I had lots of questions. And she is the world record holder for squirting, in terms of volume. We talk about sex work and the whorearchy, being a pro Domme, and Lola busts a lot of myths about squirting and offers us some tips and advice about how to do it, if that's something that you would like to learn. And we also get on to pegging, which is the act of someone wearing a strap on and anally penetrating somebody else. Usually, the person with the strap on doesn't have a penis, and the person being penetrated does, and I have a fascination with pegging, so appreciate Lola answering all of my questions, and also your questions from Instagram. I really hope that you enjoy this episode. If you'd like this podcast, please do give us a rating and a review on iTunes, it really helps us out. And as always, you can find show notes, links to everything that we talked about, on our website DoingItPodcast.co.uk enjoy. Here's Lola Jean.
Hi, Lola, so excited to chat with you. How are you doing?
Lola Jean
I'm good. I got my cup of coffee. It is the morning in New York.
Hannah Witton
Oh, of course. I've got my water, it is a very sunny afternoon here in London.
Lola Jean
Lovely.
Hannah Witton
Love that. So please tell us a bit about yourself. What you do, what your kind of specific area and sex education is. And we'd love to hear like, how you got into that and why you wanted to do this work?
Lola Jean
Yeah, so I and like, none of this, this is like the accidental career. The way I joke about it. I never intended to disappoint my parents every day. But you know, this is the route that we chose.
Hannah Witton
Oh, no.
Lola Jean
It's, we're actually it's getting a bit better. But it's definitely it's like it's hard going for the first couple of years. But I think I feel like we've turned a new leaf. But yeah, I'm a I'm a sex educator, I'm a mental health professional, I call myself an occasional pro dom. I'm a fetish wrestler, which is kind of a version of a pro Domme. I am the World Record Holder in Volume Squirting about a year and a half ago I set it.
Hannah Witton
Well done, congratulations. What an achievement.
Lola Jean
Thank you.
Hannah Witton
I have so many questions about all of those things. But first you said something and I was like what is that? Did you fetish wrestler
Lola Jean
A fetish wrestler. Yeah, so
Hannah Witton
What is that?
Lola Jean
Um I, so I wrestle, usually men, for money. And fetish wrestling, it's different than regular wrestling. It's different than regular jujitsu. It kind of combines that. But essentially, there's different elements of if it could be competitive, semi competitive, fantasy, it could be muscle worship, but it's involving these elements of like physically and mentally like overpowering men. And it's like, it feels like a sport to me. And it's really fun. And it's just a fun way where I get to do stuff that I really like and I get to be competitive as an adult and I get to make money while I do it.
Hannah Witton
Win win. How did you get into that? Is that something that you knew already existed or?
Lola Jean
No, so most most of the people that get into fetish wrestling as fetish wrestlers, they usually come from the background where hey practice MMA, they do jujitsu and they find out about this and they're like, ohh, cool, I could make money doing this, or this is fun. And they get into it that way. I went the other way around where it was actually, everything kind of happened at the same time when I was beginning my career. Little did I know in sex education, when I started working at a dungeon as a pro Domme, and I was just like, in need of a job that I didn't hate and I was on like Craigslist, and I saw it was the ad for scissor holds. It's like, do you have strong thighs, like, we'll take this picture of you squeezing someone, you can wear shorts, your face doesn't have to be in it, you can make money. And that's how I started learning about fetish wrestling. And once I started, because I also love trash talking, I do like fantasy football, like I'm so into sports. And I was like, oh my God, this sounds perfect for me. And then it like it led me to learn more about jujitsu, which I think is so fun and I use all the time. As I was pro Domming, I started being like, Oh, well, fetish wrestling, it's more fun. It's easier for me to manage, I make more money, and the demand there is just so much more elsewhere. And like, that's where my strengths lie. So I kind of started focusing more on fetish wrestling than than traditional pro Domming. And also I kind of kept pro domming, that's why I say occasional programme, cause I enjoy it more in my personal life, and I enjoy taking that time. But occasionally I'll take a session, if it's something that I really enjoy doing with a stranger.
Hannah Witton
Okay, I see. You didn't really enjoy it as much as the fetish wrestling.
Lola Jean
I enjoyed that wrestling more. It's also just to eat, it's a smaller, more niche, market that's underserved. So it's, I get to be my own boss really easily. I stopped taking sessions at the dungeon unless they were wrestling, or if they were more of like psychological, verbal, humiliation, types of things. And
Hannah Witton
Because of that trash talk skill you have?
Lola Jean
Yeah, I love the, I love a good monologue, is what I say. I like, I had two, two hour sessions last week, and I just got to give a nice monologue rant. And they're just so fun.
Hannah Witton
This is so interesting to me. And also, I'm curious, do you identify as a sex worker because of those roles? Because I know some people do identify with that term.
Lola Jean
Yeah, yeah. And I think that like the best analogy that I find using it is it's kind of like identifying as queer, where it's like, I'm a sex worker, and then if you want to find out more about what that means, I can choose to tell you or not, but also, it takes away from the whorearchy. So it's instead of being like, oh, like, like, full service is worse than stripping, is more intense than pro domming, is more intense than camming, where it's like, it's all sex work, we're all fighting for the same things. No one is better or worse than someone else. So I like that it takes away that stigma, and it kind of reduces the whorearchy in that sense.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, that's so true. Because there can definitely be that that sense of, oh, there's like good sex work or bad sex work, when in fact, it's it's all sex work. And it should all be like, celebrated and protected, and the people, and the people who are doing it as well. Yeah, that's really interesting. I did not know that about you. And I'm just like, ooo fascinating. So you mentioned that you are the World Record Holder for Volume Squirting. And I have so many questions. One, how did you get this world record? What is the process? Did people have to be present? And how is that measured? Because I've squatted a few times but then the bedsheets just soak up the liquid. So like, how do you measure volume? I've so many practical questions about it.
Lola Jean
The funny things is like figuring all that out. And like me, and one of my colleagues like going through this was like, okay, how are we going to do this? Do we like measure the weight of something? Or do we measure like, like the volume, the amount. But essentially, I think like, it was always a joke between like, colleagues, and different like researchers and educators that I'd worked with, where like the max amount science said someone could squirt was 900 millilitres, and I was like, yeah, I feel like I could crush that though. Like, I just like happened to have a higher volume than other people, which, like, you know, FYI, I've only been squirting for the past, like four years. It's not like I've been doing it all my life. But I've been doing it reliably enough to know that like, I got something special.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Lola Jean
And like the control that I have over it. So I think I was like, I want to set this record, I want to make it a whole ta da, because I'm an exhibitionist, and I don't do things small. And I looked it up in Guinness and like, something existed, I think for distance, but nothing on volume. So I went through the process of applying of like, I want to set a new record, one that hasn't been set before. So it's like, either way, I'm going to have it and they responded, and we're like, hey, we're a family organisation, we can't do that. So.
Hannah Witton
Oh, but they have to distance one?
Lola Jean
Well, I think that's what it is where like, I don't know if they like officially recognise it but like, if you go by Guinness standards, you have enough journalists and witnesses, then you can do that. So like with distance, like that was one that was, I think, done in porn and they were able to measure that. If you're still able to like, have different stipulations, and do it by Guiness standard, so I was like, okay, fine, then I'm just going to do it myself. So that was like, a year after Guinness rejected me because I was like, okay, if I'm going to do it, I'm going to connect it to some sort of like event or thing that I'm doing. And I'm going to sell tickets because I'm, well, I'm now more identifying as a socialist, but like, at that time, I'm like, I'm a capitalist, let's make some money. So I made this whole event out of it called a Kinky Carnival, which we were trying to replicate in May, before COVID really hit. But basically, it was like they were all these wacky carnival games, like pin the dildo in the butt, and cock ring -
Hannah Witton
Oh my God.
Lola Jean
And it was just like my total style of campy and there were different, like things in the freak show, and I was like, the grand culmination of everything. We sold the event out. It was like over 300 people, I wasn't expecting it. They had a camera crew there for a documentary, there were journalists, there were clearly witnesses. So I had in my mind where I was like, okay, I want to get at least 1000 millilitres, I want to get one litre because then I break science, and then it's just, it's a nice, good, even number, but like that was in my mind, my goal. And I've never like, mind you, I've never like really measured it before this point. So when we were when I was like, understanding -
Hannah Witton
Oh my God, you were training.
Lola Jean
Kind of. We were trying to because I was like, okay, it's in a one minute period, because there's different amounts of time, for Guinness that they measured in, and I was like, I don't know if I can squirt for a whole minute. And I was asking my friends, I'm like, should I like, pause and keep going so it lasts a minute, or so I just try to do it as fast as possible? And they were like, fast as possible, it's more impressive that way. So I was like, okay, so that's why it also didn't take a minute, but when I was when I was practising, when we were trying to figure out how to, basically how we measured it was like, I squirted into this like rubbery tub, similar to what you'd have like a small mammal in, and that, so it's like bendable. So then we use that import it into a giant funnel, which then went into the measuring device.
Hannah Witton
Right, okay.
Lola Jean
When I was practising, I was able to get seven like, and this was also without preparation. So I was able to get 715 millilitres out in 30 seconds, so I was like, Okay, why 30 seconds more, I'll totally be able to hit 1000.
Hannah Witton
What is preparation?
Lola Jean
Preparation is making sure arousal is up, making sure hydration is up. And honestly, too, like I'm like, on game day, I'm gonna perform better if I have a crowd and all that adrenaline like I do better.
Hannah Witton
That's amazing that you know that about yourself. So I guess that's the reason why you put on a whole show for it.
Lola Jean
Well, there's, I was going to I think perform at The Box in the UK, the last time I was there, while COVID hit. But I performed at The Box, the venue in New York, and I've done squirting performances before, and that was when I realised that like I like oh, I'm not nervous to do any of this. I love shocking people. I love making statements like that. But my friends call, Stephen calls it a wrestlers mentality when I went out there and did this like speech before I like squirted.
Hannah Witton
Oh my God, what was in your speech?
Lola Jean
But, so, this was like a statement for me. It's a statement that like we don't know as much about squirting as we think we do and it's something where like, you don't necessarily orgasm, you don't need another person to do it. You don't need to penetrate yourself, and I don't want people to be able to talk about squirting without either talking about voluntary squirting, squirting without penetration, or at least talking about me. And my whole point of it was to prove that like everything you think you know was a lie and I did that by breaking science.
Hannah Witton
Oh, I love that.
Lola Jean
Even, like, when it comes to like pee, of like the human bladder, it can only can like uncomfortably hold 900 millilitres, and I squirted more than that. So clearly, it's not all coming from the bladder.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. Oh, what was your total in the end?
Lola Jean
1250 millilitres, so 1.5 litres.
Hannah Witton
Oh, my goodness. Congratulations.
Lola Jean
Thank you. I still stare at like bottles of liquid and I'm like, whoa, I did more than that.
Hannah Witton
Oh my goodness, yeah, that's so true. Now, now when I see, like, bottles, and they'll have like, how many millilitres inside it, I'm now going to reference that against your squirting record. I'll be like oh my goodness, it's more than that. Amazing. I think it's really interesting what you're saying about that you don't need penetration for it because that's definitely something that I've heard a lot about squirting, is that that's kind of one of the ways that you train yourself to do it. And actually, I asked for some of our listeners questions on Instagram and one person asked about tips and advice on squirting?
Lola Jean
Yeah. So I think one of the things when it comes to why we think you know, because I think a lot of people want to think that I did it, therefore I know, I am. And what works for one person doesn't work for everyone, or just because it worked for them doesn't like one person's experience doesn't dictate everyone's. And I think that's all we tend to hear about. But I -
Hannah Witton
And honestly like I've squirted maybe like a handful of times in my life, and I have no idea how each one happened. No idea.
Lola Jean
Yeah, well, I'm like, I use my own body as a science experiment a lot. But basically, through my own process of like, I squirted with a partner, and then who promptly, like, ended it with me after we had sex, like unrelated to that, but it kind of left me with like, what my body can do this thing I didn't know how to do, so I just figure it out on my own. And then it became this process of like, learning about it, of teaching other people understanding how they squirt and like, even like, there was one girl who worked in the dungeon, and she just like, she didn't masturbate ever. And I'm like, okay, we're gonna change this. And she was kind of fascinated by my squirting, and like, I was able to teach her and she started masturbating, and then squirting on her own too. So it's through both like my own experience, through others experience, of people in my class. But I take a really hands off approach. So even like I tab squirting lectures, I have squirting masturbation classes, and it's like, you might squirt in the class, you probably won't. But maybe I give you these tools. A lot of people end up doing it after the class when they're in the comfort of their own home. A lot of people might do it, I've had someone who's like, oh, I did it three years after your class, because I'm just explaining to them how their body works, what they do, but like, it's going to be different for everyone. So I take a very hands off approach where like, here's all the tools but also squirting's overrated, and like, you know, I like I honestly, it's, I have a love hate relationship, but it's mostly a thorn in my side. It's like, a lot of times, it's like, oh, I don't feel like squirting. I don't want to do I like I want. It's like, Oh, I want to have sex. I want to masturbate, but I don't feel like doing that. I don't feel like getting everything out or like going through the process.
Hannah Witton
I watched a video you posted on Instagram that was about kind of finding masturbation annoying sometimes, and not being able to find pleasure in it unless you squirt. But then there's the whole, like, effort that goes into having to squirt. And I thought that was really interesting.
Lola Jean
Yeah, because it's not like, I mean, I can put effort in and choose to squirt. But it's usually if I'm gonna feel at my most, like peak pleasure, for the most part, sometimes my body doesn't work or it doesn't squirt and I can usually I have that relationship with my like, my vulva and my vagina where I can tell. Like, I was having sex with my partner the other day, and I was like, we had, we were fooling around that morning, and I squirted a bunch. But that evening, I was like, I can just tell my body is like, doesn't want to do it and it's totally fine. But I like have to almost like alert my partner to be like, hey, by the way, like, it's nothing you're doing, my I can just feel my body doesn't want to squirt, which is like hallelujah at a certain point. But it's not like, it's, it's more of like an effort of like, okay, I have to deal with the clean up, and I have to make sure I put down a pad or a blanket, and not a towel, because I'll destroy those. It's a whole process because it's also like, sometimes I don't know, my own trajectory and depending on the pleasure, I feel it could be large. So it's, it's always kind of in the back of my mind, too, because it is kind of annoying to deal with that.
Hannah Witton
Just like on a practical level sometimes. Yeah.
Lola Jean
Yeah. I'm happy now that with like my partner like, and usually when we're like hooking up he'll just be like, do want me to get the pad and like, it's kind of a part of our process and ritual where it's like, I think some people find it annoying, but it's kind of nice that he's like, oh, okay, here. It's just what we do. And it's kind of like a sexy like, I'm taking out the pad now.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And then if it just becomes part of like, your normal routine, then whether you squirt or not, it's, it's just like, yeah.
Lola Jean
We wanted to talk about tips, though, right?
Hannah Witton
I guess like if you have a toolkit, and then people can like, pick and choose from it and like a bit of a pick and mix with different tips.
Lola Jean
Yeah, so I think there's like, there's two things that people hear a lot when it comes to squirting, but like, it doesn't have to be necessarily the way they think. So I like to take an approach where it's like, you can simulate your your G area, which is just a collection of erectile tissue. So it's not like a certain spot, but you can stimulate that without having your hands inside of you and it's a really sensitive area. So I find that most people like not having something inside of them to do so, or having it can also become harder if something's blocking your vaginal canal. But you can simulate that using your pelvic floor and your PC muscles. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to have a really strong pelvic floor and squeeze it all the time, because that can also that's a bad thing medically, because if you're always contracted and your body's like we can't contract anymore, like that's you don't want to have a weak pelvic floor, you don't want to have an over strong pelvic floor. It's about having a coordinated pelvic floor.
So the contraction is what engages within the G area. So every time you squeeze and then when you're able to elongate, or kind of like push out with like, of the G area of the pelvic floor, that's what that's what happens when you're doing the actual squirting. And that's the part that you do that when you do something that feels really good. So like, I like kind of like, you know, dirty DJing my clit and like doing that. So I'll push out while I do that, and that's usually what will work or I like something, especially something it's like hitting really thuddy, kind of around more of my like mons pubis area, we do something you like as you do that. So engage with your pelvic floor, elongate it, contracted, while you touch yourself in different ways. See how that changes your pleasure, see how that changes a sensation, see how that changes how your body feels, and it's really, that's how I learned how to squirt, was I was just experimenting. What happens if I squeeze my pelvic floor and I do this thing with my hand? What happens if I push, and I do this thing with my hand? And I was just trying to rotate the sensation that I felt with the person that I squirted with, because it's like, my body did the squirting, so I can figure this out. It wasn't something that person did. It's something my body did. And my body can do it in plenty of different ways. There's not just one way.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I love that mentality of like, it's not something that somebody else did to your body, like your body did that your body can own that for itself.
Lola Jean
Yeah, I've had a tonne of people, like I always just get the most heartbreaking emails from people who are just like, I even recently someone's like, I squirt, but it's not via the G spot, the way that everyone says, is there something wrong with my body? And it's like, oh, no, you poor thing. Or even like, oh, this person made me do it ad they're the only one that can and blah, blah, blah. And like, low and behold, I give them a couple of like, you know, affirmations and like, like, ways of understanding the body and what's happening and they can do it on their own. And it's an empowering thing to feel like, oh, this means my pleasure or sexuality is tied to someone else. And it's not, it's you, it's, it can be you with anyone, or you on your own. And I think that's what like squirting gave me, was this empowering thing where it's like, this is me and my body doing it and actually has nothing to do with someone else.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and I think that's such a valuable lesson to learn about all different kinds of sex acts and sexual behaviours. And speaking of that, I wanted to talk about another one which is pegging. So actually, somebody asked a very valid question on our Instagram, which is, what is pegging?
Lola Jean
Very fair. It is kind of a new term too. It was I think the thing that people were doing and on Dan Savages Love Cast podcast, they like voted on what is the name going to be for this act?
Hannah Witton
Oh my God, really? Is this like the second time Dan Savage has coined a term?
Lola Jean
Yeah, there you go.
Hannah Witton
Wow, first monogamish and now pegging, love it.
Lola Jean
GGG, there's a third one too.
Hannah Witton
Oh, my God, so many.
Lola Jean
But yeah, so that's how the term pegging was born. And I think then it was a bit more maybe heteronormative where it was always like, person who is female bodied is penetrating a person, anally, who is male body. But it can be anyone.
Hannah Witton
It's just somebody wearing a strap on, penetrating somebody's anus.
Lola Jean
Correct, yeah. And those people could have either genitals. It tends to be somebody, the person who's being penetrated has a penis because prostates like to be stimulated. So just statistically, if you have a penis, you're more likely to receive pleasure from anal stimulation, than someone with a vagina.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And people with penises tend to forget that.
Lola Jean
Right? I know, it's like, I have so many jokes about it with like, especially for people that have like internalised homophobia of like, well, when you're penetrating, you just have to be really careful. You want to make a left and not a right, because you want to avoid the button that makes you gay. Like, just like, it's like you're enjoying a part of your body. But it's also like, do we think that like, homosexual men are penetrating each other in the butt because it's the only hole available? Like, no, it feels good. But even then, you know, they might not be understanding of like prostate stimulation. And there's, there's two things that people can find enjoyable receiving, pegging. It can be mental, it can be physical, or both. So some people, if you think about, like, even just like the feeling of being fucked, or the idea, like, I definitely do this to people, or clients, because I don't, I don't penetrate my clients, but I'll just kind of flip them over and I'll just sort of, like, kind of thrust onto there. But like, I'm like, you know, like, like, penetrating them and running into them. And like that feeling of just like the feeling of going against the bones. It feels nice. Yeah.
Hannah Witton
I can totally relate to that. Like the idea of being fucked is also like arousing in of itself.
Lola Jean
Yeah. Even if someone like if someone's penetrating you out like that generally, like, there's that feeling of like, being fucked, that's enjoyable. But so it can be it could be mental in that way, it can be like, it could be a submissive act, or it doesn't have to be a submissive act at all. But it also can be physically enjoyable, because you're stimulating the prostate. You can do it internally or externally, but it feels really good. It feels nice.
Hannah Witton
Someone actually asked, how do I find a man willing to be pegged, but not necessarily a submissive? Do you have any advice for this person?
Lola Jean
Yeah, firstly, I mean, what I do is I express people that something that this is my interest, because we can express a desire without asking someone to fulfil it. Yeah. So it could be that, like, I people usually know that this is something I'm into. I enjoy giving pleasure, especially to people's prostates because I like introducing people to new pleasure, and like, you know, making a safe space where they can. So I say, one is expressing that, like, this is a thing I'm into, you don't have to do it. But like, I'm really interested in exploring this, it doesn't have to be with you, I just wanted to share that with you. And the other thing would be introduce, you can introduce people to prostate pleasure, externally. So I'm always very over communicative, especially because people know that I'm pretty open about that I like fucking butts. So even like, my like, I don't do that with my partner. And like, he knows that I like that. But I like I'm over communicative, like, I will tell you before I put anything into your body, if it's my finger, otherwise, like, don't worry about me, I'm never gonna sneak that, I will, like walk you through the whole thing. So that way, if my hand is going near kind of his prostate externally, he knows I'm not going to go into his butt. He knows I want to, but he knows I'll ask before I do that.
Hannah Witton
Good distinction
Lola Jean
So you can be able to stimulate the prostate externally. So it's kind of the like, the root of the dick. So kind of between in like the taint, or the gooch area, between the butt hole and the balls, it's gonna be more pronounced where people that have larger prostates, or just depending on where the prostates located, because it's different for everyone. But it can take a lot of pressure. So you can take kind of your fingertips and like sort of a, like you're making a shelf motion, and just providing pressure as you do other things with your hand or your mouth. Or you can even take your knuckles and be able to push there a bit and massage. But it feels really good. And I feel like more often than that, people will start moaning or they like that I'm like, that's your prostate. And they're like, what and like, yeah, you like it. Just getting them to experience that, oh, it's pleasurable, and then I think it's it's education and explaining, that it doesn't have to be submissive. And like, case, in point, I have a online pegging series called it's pegging 101, quick and dirty. And we show different, the optimal positions for pegging because it's, there's more to it than just putting something in someone's body. And actually, one of the optimal positions is not a submissive position. It's where somebody is like riding you, it's cow person or cowboy. And that one is so fun, because I love gender fuckery, I love role reversals, and it's just fun to like, see someone else riding like, my cock, it's so hot. And also I get to be lazy on my back. And that's fun.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and I think that's a good point to make as well about how for the person who is wearing the strap on it can also be really pleasurable, even though they don't have any sensations in this, like, fake dick.
Lola Jean
Right. And even to for, I mean, you're still grinding, which, like, I love grinding on things, like I'm a little horny dog all the time. But I've had people in my pegging classes, people with vulva's who have had orgasms, and they're like, what it's like, well, yeah, you're you're grinding, you're doing something like you don't have to have like a vibrator, not necessarily, but you can totally find pleasure.
Hannah Witton
And then it can be that mental stimulation again, of like the the, just the act of like fucking somebody else but yeah, that just how that can make you aroused mentally too
Lola Jean
Definitely, definitely. And it's also like, with anything, like you don't have to come for it to be an enjoyable sexual experience. Like, I think especially people with penises think of like well, why would I do it if I don't come? It's like, cuz it's fun. Yeah. Because it feels good.
Hannah Witton
I know, it's such a shame that there's like this obsession with orgasm, because, like, the obsession should just be with pleasure in general.
Lola Jean
Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Somebody asked how to practice using a strap on? Which I was like, that's actually a great question. Yeah, is there any things that you should be aware of if you're the person wearing it?
Lola Jean
Yeah. So also in my series, I go over like placement because I think that's the first thing people get wrong, which just makes your job a lot harder. But you can be able to like, like, grab a stuffed animal, grab a pillow and like, just practice different movements with your hips and what you would do, I teach a lot of positions that are easier on like muscles you're not used to using because like, I try to put everything in your hips because we have a lot of strength and stamina there, more so than we do maybe in our thighs, or something like that. So I do I love like a good planking position. So it's figuring out how to you you know, you get penetration through doggy style, you work as a team, you go down together, and then basically it's kind of like you're humping you're pillow, but you're helping another person. And you don't have to do big movements, it can be little. But I think it's more, with like the placement of the strap on, you want it to be I think a lot of people, and me included, when I first did this, you're like, Oh, I'm gonna put the dildo near my vagina hole. But that makes my range of motion so huge.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, cuz then it's like punching down.
Lola Jean
Yeah, exactly. But if I put it higher not only does it make my range of motion shorter, but now it's sitting closer to my clitoral -
Hannah Witton
Mmmm, and that grinding.
Lola Jean
Exactly. So I think that's the biggest mistake people make. And then the second one is just positioning.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, because also you almost want it to kind of like be coming off your body in a similar way that an erection would.
Lola Jean
Right, exactly or like, or you could put it elsewhere. Like even like I'm slowly trying to get my partner to wear a strap on and fuck me because I, because then like that way, we don't have to worry about like, if we're having sex and he ejaculates and he's not able to maintain an erection, I got a glass dildo that is our rock hard erection. It works for a lot of different formats and I think people with penises should, you know, you only have one dick, your dick doesn't go in different directions, it doesn't, you know, you only have one size, like maybe your dick is like it's too thick, and I need something thinner to be in my butt. So I think we should all get more comfortable wearing strap ons.
Hannah Witton
I love that. If you take anything away from this episode lets all get more comfortable wearing strap ons. I was just having a look through some of the other questions we had from our listeners.
Lola Jean
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
If you don't mind going back to squirting for a second
Lola Jean
Of course.
Hannah Witton
Someone asked, and like I'm thinking this too, can everyone really squirt? Because I've heard this too, that like anyone can squirt, you just, you know, need to learn how your body might do it. But is it maybe the case that you know some bodies can and some bodies can't?
Lola Jean
Yeah, so firstly, this is a like, this is like top two questions I get. Is it pee? Can everyone do it? The first one was like, can everyone do it one? It's like, we're never gonna be able to fully answer that, because all you need is one person and it's a learned, it's a learned thing. Some people are able to do it, knee jerk reactions, some people learn to do it later in their life, I find a lot of people who have had children are able to do it because they, like, their vagina has changed, like a child just went out of it. So they have, they're now forced to have a relationship with their, their with their vagina, they're forced to have an understanding of their pelvic floor and the coordination of it. And then also, they've probably, you know, strengthened it enough a bit. So they have all those pieces. So I often find people that have had kids, all of a sudden they're like, wait, I can squirt now.
Hannah Witton
Oh I love that.
Lola Jean
Yeah, and even like, also, there's also something to do not like you have to genetically have it in your genes to do so. But like, my mom does, I know someone who's like mom does, sister does, there's something there. But it's my belief and based on you know, I have a squirting series that's coming out probably like later this year. So that can like help me do so. But I think everyone can, if they have a coordinated pelvic floor and relationship with their vulva. I think it's just it's that process of maybe it happens to you this year, maybe next year, maybe in 30 years. But like regardless, like if it happens, I hope I hope you enjoy it. I hope you wanted it to happen. And if you don't enjoy it, I hope you know that that's okay. A lot of people don't. And that's totally fine.
Hannah Witton
That's such a good point.
Lola Jean
Yeah. And it's I think it's just something that sensationalised with porn because it's, it's a visual manifestation of pleasure. And yeah, that's one of the big things that I hear a lot is people feel pressured to do so because their partners want it. Which is like, it's your body, you should want it. But regardless, when people ask this question, I think they're trying to figure out, am I broken? And you're not. All of our bodies do different things in different ways. Sometimes our bodies do things and they don't, I'm working on trying, I just got my nipples pierced, and I'm trying to see if I have more sensation in them because I literally don't feel them unless it's either it's either hurting or I don't feel them.
Hannah Witton
I also have so little nipple sensation and just boobs in general. I don't get anything from it. But then other friends of mine, for them, it's like they could reach orgasm from nipple stimulation or nipple stimulation is a necessity in order to have an orgasm. And I'm like I get I have these massive tits, that are so annoying and yet I get nothing from it. I was like, this is so unfair.
Lola Jean
I know it's not for everyone, but I was like you, I have big boobs too, like you. I was like I wonder if we have so much boob that it's just like all the nerve endings are spread out.
Hannah Witton
This is my theory, genuinely my theory, but I've no idea if there's anything to back it but you just got your nipple pierced. How is that?
Lola Jean
I got them pierced a few weeks ago. So it's still fresh and like I have to get the piercing changed so it's like tighter because like they move around a bit. But it's definitely like so far it's been interesting where I'm like, Oh, I can feel that and it doesn't feel bad. So so far, it's been interesting, but I haven't really taken them out for a big test drive. Like I thought it looks cool. I'm like, I don't have any sensation there, I got nothing to lose, only things to gain. So that's like my latest experiment and like maybe I get sensation. Maybe I can find pleasure in it. And then maybe once they completely heal, they're just not sensitive again, who knows?
Hannah Witton
Yeah. But if you're finding pleasure in the aesthetic of having nipple piercings, then it's already a win.
Lola Jean
Exactly. I think it looks really cool. It makes me feel like a bad ass. And then like, you know, once like, they're still a little sore, but like, it's getting to the point where I'm like, because I've been very anal about the, like, healing process and like cleaning and all that. So but it's it's been so far, it's been pleasantly surprised that we haven't gotten there yet. But it's the same thing. We're like, I don't have much sensation in my nipples, yet. Some people reach orgasm from it, like you said. So it's like, it's focusing on what our body can do, as opposed to let it can't.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, that's a really good point. And I think something for of all to take away, and, you know, we can all just, like really get to know our bodies. And also, like you said, there'll be some things that will change over time as well, in terms of what our bodies and our brains can do as well, because our brains are a huge part of it.
Lola Jean
100% and like case in point to that, it's like get to know your pleasure while you're menstruating. Because that's kind of like primo time to do some fun stuff like that's, that's also that's when your cervix is like lower and supple and like that's prime time for any kind of cervical play.
Hannah Witton
I don't think I've ever heard the cervix been described as supple, but I like it.
Lola Jean
Yeah, I'm good, I'm good friends with a doula so I've been learning a lot about discharge.
Hannah Witton
Oh cool. Yeah, I've been paying a bit more attention to like my discharge as well, because normally, I'm just like, oh, there's the discharge again, but I'm just like, but what type is it now? You know, like, really getting into it. Like, is it the like, mushy stuff? Is it the egg white stuff like?
Lola Jean
Exactly.
Hannah Witton
Love it. Lola Jean, thank you so much for just sharing all of that with us. I've really enjoyed this chat. Thank you. Where can people find you online?
Lola Jean
Yes, they can, you can go to my website, LolaJean.com. All of my social media handles are the same thing with the D O T spelled out and you can find all the different things that I do from there from the pegging series, to audio erotica, to the podcast, Is Our Love, and all the many other things that come out of my empire.
Hannah Witton
And I was recently on a Is Our Love episode, so people can also go and listen to that too.
Lola Jean
Yeah, crossover episode, crossover.
Hannah Witton
Crossover! We love it. Well, thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure. And thank you all for listening. Bye.
Lola Jean
Bye.
Hannah Witton
Thank you so much for listening to Doing It. If you enjoyed it, I would really appreciate it if you left a rating and a review. You can find show notes at DoingItPodcast.co.uk and do go follow us on social media. And I'll catch you in the next episode. Bye.
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