Behind the Scenes and Season Highlights (End of Season 6 Q&A) | Transcript
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Hannah Witton
Hello everybody. Welcome back to Doing It, the podcast where sex has never been so nerdy, with me, your host, Hannah Witton. This is our end of season episode. I am joined by our wonderful producer Mia. Whoop whoop!
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Hello, everybody. So nice to be here on this side.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, yeah, does it feel - nervous? On this side? Or just different?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It was just different. It was funny having you say all the things we'd normally say to a guest like, "Can you check this? Can you put your headphones on? Can you take a selfie?" It's like, okay, it's my turn.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, although, even though I did go through all of that with you, I'm now - I forgot to actually start my own backup recording but I have now. So it's fine.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
There we go, there we go.
Hannah Witton
It's been a while since I've done one of these.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I know, yeah.
Hannah Witton
Like for you, our listeners, we just had our last episode go out last week. But we were so on it - Mia was so on it - with this season, that we actually finished recording all of our guest interviews back in November.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
That's so long ago!
Hannah Witton
I know, it's ridiculous. But we wanted to come on here and kind of like, end off the season, and also I wanted to introduce you guys to Mia. Because she is my creative producer, she works on the YouTube channel and also the podcast, and this season has been one that she's basically produced. Because I was on maternity leave and like you were working on like guests and scheduling and stuff while I was off. And then like, as soon as I came back to work, it was like, let's go.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It was like, "Sorry, you just had a baby. What? No, we're gonna record, record, record."
Hannah Witton
We're gonna record. How many episodes did we do? It must have been like, 20 odd.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think it was a bit more I think it was like 23 or something. 24 in the end. A lot.
Hannah Witton
There we go. Yeah. So we're just gonna have a little chat about how this season has gone. We've asked for some of our listeners' questions which we have compiled, we're gonna chat about making the podcast and I'm also going to talk about like some of the topics and guests and questions that you guys had about those stuff. And then there are a few like personal and advice questions, which we'll get to. But before all of that, actually, Mia, do you want to like properly introduce yourself?
Hannah Witton
Yeah, thank you. So it's so nice to meet you all. I've absolutely loved working on this podcast. It's been such an amazing opportunity. And -
Hannah Witton
Very formal..
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, I know, I don't know why I lead with that. But just genuinely I've loved doing this podcast. It's been so fun. And I've learned so much. But yeah, a bit about me. I'm Hannah's producer. My background is in documentary. So I've been making documentaries for many years exploring all sort of themes around identity and culture. But I've always had such an interest in sex education, and all the sort of types of identity that fall under that. And I started training as a sex and relationship psychotherapist a few months before I started with Hannah. And I wanted to combine my sort of creative work with nerding out about sex. And it led me to find Hannah. And I've been working with her ever since. So yeah, working with Hannah, and also still studying to be a sex therapist. And I definitely like draw a lot on what we do and I learn with this work in that - in my studies as well, for sure.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I remember when I first put out the like call for this position, shortly after I found out I was pregnant, being like, "I'm going to need some help." And I always thought finding somebody who has - because I was trying to find someone I could offload a lot of the stuff I was doing on to. And so it's like how do I find someone who understands content creation and sex and relationships? And then you appeared!
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yay! No, it was a real manifesting situation. I've never really like referred to myself as manifesting anything. But in this situation, it was exactly what I was looking for as well. And yeah, it's been great. I mean, I can also say a bit about what I do with you, I guess.
Hannah Witton
Yeah!
Mia Zur-Szpiro
So I produce the podcast. And that's been involving researching and choosing guests and sort of thinking about topics, and then writing the questions and thinking about themes, which I then share with you.
Hannah Witton
And another huge part of it: actually scheduling in the time that we're going to -
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Scheduling.
Hannah Witton
That's a big part.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, sometimes my brain - anytime we needed to make a change, my brain would hurt after, but we got there. We did it.
Hannah Witton
We did.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And then yeah, working with Hannah on the YouTube channel as well, either helping make her ideas happen or bringing some of my own ideas, writing some scripts, working with script writers. And just just generally keeping the Hannah Witton boat afloat.
Hannah Witton
Yes, indeed, we need all the help we can get here. Okay, so I feel like we should dive into some of the listeners' questions. Okay, so the first one I've got here is - oh, this one's Patreon related, actually, because one of the things that we did towards the end of this season was start a Patreon bonus episode, which is me and Mia talking after we finished record with the guest and kind of what - what comes up for us, a bit of behind the scenes, but also like us reflecting on the topic and what the guest has been saying. So this question comes from one of my patrons, and they've said: How are you feeling about the How Was That for You episodes - because that's what we've called them - and do you feel they help the subjects sink in for you? I think they do. For me.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Sometimes - now that we do them, it almost feels weird that we were to like, have a really intense chat with somebody and you would just be there like silently in the background, like listening and writing notes. And then we'd be like, "Okay, peace, bye."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes I would like frantically write in our Discord, being like, "Oh my God, that was so amazing," or like, "I can't believe that. I never thought of that." But yeah, it -
Hannah Witton
Yeah, but now we can actually do that. Yeah, it feels nice.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
For sure.
Hannah Witton
It feels like aftercare. It's podcast aftercare.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Oh my god, we could have called it aftercare.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
No but I love - I feel like aftercare can be for when all the technology goes really wrong.
Hannah Witton
Oh yeah. Definitely need some aftercare when it's like a stressful tech situation.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. I think it's really interesting to have those discussions. And, like, I think how they said, they phrased it "sink in"? It does, it makes you sort of like really think about what stuck out and yeah, just getting to have a little discussion with you and what does that bring up for us both as sort of thinkers but also as producers. Like, has that led to a sort of question or thought about "Oh, it'll be really interesting to talk about this more." And I think, yeah, it's been a great thing to do together.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I enjoy it. So someone's asked: Does Mia ever want to jump in with her own questions for guests?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
This season, I have written the questions. So I feel like all the questions in a way have mostly been mine, but then you absolutely also do come up with some yourself. So I feel like it's less that I want to jump in with a new question. But sometimes - because I write so many questions, you can't get through them all. Sometimes I'm like, "Ooh, please ask this question." Or like, you go in one direction, which is totally valid. And then I'm like, "Ooh, will,we get to cover this topic? Because I really wanted to hear the answer." So I feel like that can come up sometimes. But no, mostly you just do a great job. And there's lots of options there. And most of them are good.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. But that also actually kind of links to the next question, because somebody said: how often does Hannah stick to the questions Mia has preferred versus following up on things that the guests have said and going off on interesting sex nerdy tangents? Well, I'm glad you think they're interesting. I think every episode it happens. And yeah, I just, I find it so useful having all of those questions there just because of the time constraints now with me working part time, and having a baby, and all of that, in case you didn't know. I find it so handy that I basically look at the questions that you've written out, I organise them or like move some around in a way that works for my brain, and how I would like structure it in my head. Then I like star a bunch that I like really want to get to or - and, and then I just go. And then from there, I just kind of like let whatever happens in the conversation happens. And so if there's something that the guest brings up, then maybe I'll like explore that more if that's interesting.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, that's so important. I think it's so important to just like take that natural flow, and it makes it much more conversational. It's less like just an interview where you're sort of moving through questions. And something that I remember is like, I - also it's nice having that unpredictability, and I remember the episode with Jimanekia Eborn, who's the trauma queen. And do you remember that episode ended up being like weirdly funny and light hearted?
Hannah Witton
Yes! Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And we were so surprised by it, because it was one of the most heavy topics sort of going into it. And I think, like, you just -
Hannah Witton
Yeah, with lots of serious questions on the page.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Lots of serious questions. And I remember - I can't remember specifically now, but I remember you like leading with things, and talking about stuff with her, and also really connecting. And it was such a nice episode, but so different, I think, to how we predicted and that's great, you know, and also it's nice that you were able to talk so much about trauma, which you did, but do it in a way which was maybe a little less harrowing.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And maybe a bit more accessible, which is - which is nice, especially for a topic like that.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I remember - I remember that one being really funny. And I think us also saying - I can't remember if you made it into the episode, but we're - at the end, we were like, that was - that was a good time. Like, what? So we have a question that was: are there any guests that Hannah hadn't heard of until Mia suggested them? Yes. So many. I think this is one of the brilliant things that you've brought to it is because like, through doing the podcast, obviously like at the beginning, I started out with like people that I know. And I know a lot of people in this like sexuality field. And so that was really fun. And also, it's like, it's easier to like reach out to people who you already have a connection with to be like, "Hey, can you come on my podcast?" But then you've just been like, "Right, who can we get on?" Also like, because you're also involved in like the sexuality field, you are, you know, consuming and absorbing all of this stuff, and you will come across people that I would never have come across. And so yeah, it's been really cool. You'll be like, "Oh, I've got - like, I want to do this topic. And I found this person." I'm like, "Amazing."
Hannah Witton
Yeah, it's honestly been so fun. And what I've loved is like everyone I write to is like, "Oh, yeah, love Hannah."
Hannah Witton
Oh!
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Or like, "Oh, it would be such an honour." And I was like, "Oh, this is so fun." Just like getting to write to everyone and it's always a yes. And just sort of coming up with like really far-fetched ideas and far-flung and because you've built such an amazing platform, and you're an amazing person, people are like, "Yes, I'd love to." It's like, "This is so fun."
Hannah Witton
Oh my god. Is this just an episode of the two of us just congratulating each other?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And so it should be. And so it should be.
Hannah Witton
Exactly. So, question: does having Mia onboard as a creative producer help make things smoother, less stressful, easier for Hannah to do, when she's only working part time? Do you think you would have been able to have kept doing the podcast post maternity leave without Mia? It would have been very difficult because you came on board whilst I was still pregnant.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And we were like mid a season. And so you helped with the end of that season. But then this last season has been one that like from beginning to end, you have basically produced the whole thing. And oh my god, it makes things so much smoother for me. So much easier. Like, I obviously have some involvement when it comes to like prioritising which guests we want to reach out to, because our list is so huge. So Mia, and I will every so often we'll will like sit down together and be like, "Okay, who's the next like, three or four people that you want to reach out to?" And then I just let Mia go off and do that. And then then we like obviously have to schedule in the recording, I look at the questions a bit beforehand, and then I just show up to record and it's so dreamy. It's so dreamy. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think it's part of- I think it's part of the Hannah workflow - the Hannah workflow - the Hannah Witton workflow that I sort of took the lead on the soonest.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And so became quite like, yeah, you were able just to come and then like, record, and do it without having to do all the sort of faff.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and you write the intros for them as well. So then I would like batch record a bunch of intros in one go together as well.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It's definitely allowed us to do a lot more with the podcast. I don't think we can say you would - I think you would have still done it. But it's definitely like, I think this season six was really impressive. We did so much, we covered such an interesting breadth of topics and people.
Hannah Witton
It's definitely the most like global season as well. In terms of like where the guests are from in the world.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. And we really wanted to do that. Like, that's my background, is like telling global stories. But I remember also, when you had - when we had our interview, that was like a theme that really came up, when you sort of said like, "Oh, what would you be interested to bring?" And I think we just spoke about like really diversifying, like globally the voices, and I'm really proud of that.
Hannah Witton
Especially because, yeah, since the pandemic, like the podcast started out, I think definitely the first two seasons - I can't remember exactly when the pandemic happened, basically, but the podcast was all recorded in person at the beginning. Which obviously like limits you in terms of like who you have access to, so, yeah, very cool. Very cool.
Okay: I absolutely love Doing It's "the sex and relationships podcast was sex has never been so nerdy" tagline. How did you come up with that? So, storytime. No, it's not really a story.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Tell me, tell me.
Hannah Witton
So I did this Patreon Brand of You workshop. Every so often Patreon like put on these like sometimes webinars, sometimes workshops like events and stuff for creators. And yeah, and this was one of them but it was like a long term thing. So it was like, every week there was like a call and ther was a session and there was homework. And it was all about figuring out your like brand identity in terms of like the language that you use to describe it. And that has been so useful for me, like I actively did the homework because I knew that I like would find it really useful.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Because you're a sex nerd!
Hannah Witton
Yeah, so I have like - I have this like, graphic that I created that's like my brand personality and archetypes and like all the different words. And then one of the exercises, one of the pieces of homework, was coming up with a tagline. And this wasn't specifically for the podcast, it was kind of like for like, the Hannah Wtton stuff in general. And yeah, the "where sex has never been so nerdy" that was - during that process was how I came up with that. And I really like it too. So I'm glad that you do..
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, no. I've been using the word like "nerd" to refer to myself a lot more since working with you.
Hannah Witton
Ooh, the like identity osmosis or something. I love that. Yeah. "Curious." Like "curiosity" was like one of the big words as well that came up when I did that exercise. Yeah. Do you either of you have a dream guests that you haven't managed to get on as a guest yet, but would really like to? Shall we like after three like say our person?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And see if we have the same person.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Um, okay. Three , two, one. Esther Perel.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Ncuti Gawa.
Hannah Witton
I knew that that was gonna be.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Really?
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
I knew that was gonna be your person. Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
You knew that was gonna be mine?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Oh, that's so funny? So how did you know that?
Hannah Witton
I don't know. I just, I just knew.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, we've we've reached out to Esther and her team. We're hoping that - we'll see.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Fingers crossed.
Hannah Witton
We'll see.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I wonder if people actually heard what we both said because we said it at the same time. But I said, Ncuti Gatwa, who's the actor from Sex and the City. Sorry, not Sex and the City.
Hannah Witton
Imagine.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Sex Education.
Hannah Witton
He plays Eric.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
He plays Eric. And I think just as a human -
Hannah Witton
He's also going to be the new Doctor.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
The new Doctor Who, yeah. Also, he's in the Barbie movie. The one that Greta Gerwig just made.
Hannah Witton
Oh my god, okay, is he too famous for us?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I don't know, I love him.
Hannah Witton
I'm so excited for that film.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
He's just such an incredible character. I think like someone being able to sort of genuinely light up your life just through being on screen, I think is a very special person.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, yeah. And Esther Perel is just -
Mia Zur-Szpiro
She's the GOAT.
Hannah Witton
- amazing when it comes to how she can talk about relationships and desire. And I just, oh my god,
Mia Zur-Szpiro
She's - I think she has completely changed like the world's relationship with therapy. I think so many people like wouldn't necessarily have engaged with therapy -
Hannah Witton
Like, couples therapy?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Couples therapy, but also probably personal therapy. But yeah, couples therapy, especially, I think like since Esther's come on the scene, and she's become as much of an icon as she has, I think it's completely changed people's like openness and understanding and sort of comfortableness as well talking about therapy. And that's just amazing.
Hannah Witton
I think also just the idea like even if you don't go down the therapy route, the idea that like the work that you have to do for romantic relationships. I don't - yeah. Anyway, she would be amazing.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. One day. One day, for sure.
Hannah Witton
One day.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Although, sorry -
Hannah Witton
Go on.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
If Esther actually came on the podcast, it's like what questions would we ask her? Because like, I just don't want - she gets interviewed so much. So we'd have to really about, like how to make this one different. Which would be so like, amazing, but also, daunting.
Hannah Witton
It'd just be me being like, "Oh my god, I watched your TED talk when I was like 20 years old. It changed my life." Okay: Hannah has been coming into the studio in the evenings for some podcast recordings - correct - while Dan is at home with Rowan because of time zones and working part time. Oh, yeah. How do I feel about work/life boundaries shifting more since coming back to work after maternity leave? Yeah. I mean, that was just one of the things. We wanna get guests on who are in different locations or different time zones and because - especially so when we were recording this season, I was working half days. So it was really difficult to find the time, like we were really limited in terms of, yeah, when I could record and so we would always have to do evening recordings if they were like US based, especially West Coast. Yeah, it was tricky. I've had a - my boundary was one evening a week max. That was - and that was like a personal boundary just because it was so tiring. But then also like a family boundary.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. I think it was like a sacrifice you made like some time away from Rowan, some time away from Dan, and resting, to allow us to like broaden who we could have on the show. But it was a bit of a sacrifice in that way. But I think like you reached a sort of, as you say, a boundary that you felt okay with.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And Dan was so chill about it. I'd be like, "I've got this podcast recording. Is that okay?" He's like, "Yeah, of course."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
He's like, "Yay, I can do more gaming!"
Hannah Witton
He's like, "Yeah, I've got this." Well, he's still got to look after a baby but yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Oh yeah, that's true. After Rowan's gone to bed.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, yeah. But we've now gotten to a good place with it. Like, I actually go out now more in the evenings like for fun, and like going to the theatre and stuff now than I did like, whilst ,you know, whilst pregnant.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
You have more energy.
Hannah Witton
So - mmm. Yeah, a different kind of energy. Different. Like, this is more intense, chaotic energy. Um, doo doo doo. Oh, this is kind of related to what we were talking about before: would you ever go back to recording episodes of Doing It in person with guests who're in London or does virtual recording give more flexibility? I love the virtual.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think if we were to do it -
Hannah Witton
The flexibility. Go on.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think if we were to do it in person, it would be to maybe do some like one off live events, which we've spoken about as like could be quite fun.
Hannah Witton
Yes.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And that I think that's something we do want to think about could we do soon, but that obviously takes a lot of planning. That would be a fun thing to do in person and get to like have an audience and meet people.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, that'd be really cool. Yeah, but I think just generally, for the podcast, virtual. It's just like so easy, because then I can just come to my computer. And like, when I think back to recording in person, the amount of like travelling around I was doing and like lugging my all my podcast gear. Oh, man.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think - I think doing it online actually allows us to do more, both in terms of the variety of guests we can have, but also, like you say, having more energy to then record more rather than like schlepping around the city, using up resources on that.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And also now that video is a huge part of like podcast marketing. And because we like post videos on our like Instagram and Tiktok, it's so easy, because when you're doing it virtually, you just automatically record video, whereas like if we were doing stuff in person, lugging podcast gear and camera - like honestly, nightmare.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
No.
Hannah Witton
No. Okay, let's move on to some like topics/guests questions. Somebody asked: most surprising/insightful thing you've learned this season? Um, I'm gonna be honest, it's still stuck with me. But the fact that Angela Merkel's conservative. Like.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
You were so shocked.
Hannah Witton
Blew my mind.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
That was so funny.
Hannah Witton
She's just not presented that way in the British press.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
No. She's like the cool girl in politics for us. Like, actually she's not.
Hannah Witton
Ohh. I feel really lied to and let down by the British press in many, many ways. Do you have any standout things?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Um, I loved the episode with Dr. Veronica Ivy all about being a trans athlete.
Hannah Witton
Yes.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And I think you feel the same way just like hearing her.
Hannah Witton
I was just mind blown from beginning to end of that episode. Honestly.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, she was amazing. And just like, all this stuff around science and testosterone that we've just been like fed or made to believe, and just absolutely busting the myths. Like just the fact - I remember her saying that there's no correlation between testosterone levels and performance ability. And that actually, it was something like athletes of the highest performance tend to have lower testosterone or something. I was just like [mind blown noise].
Hannah Witton
Yeah. I'm gonna have to relisten to that episode, honestly, because it was just jam packed with so much information and myth busting in just such a like engaging and, yeah, just interesting way. I was just like, "Oh my goodness." And it's one that I think is just a really good episode to signpost people to, because I feel like there's just so much misinformation out there about trans people. And the like trans people in sport thing comes up every now and then as well. And so we can just be like, "The facts!"
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It's like an episode that I want to quote the stats like all the time, but yeah, that was something - and I remember just like, I remember also this theme of it's not just gender, which is sort of a construct and a binary, but actually all the stuff she was talking about then on the biological basis sort of made it seem that like sex is also sort of like -
Hannah Witton
Like, everything is on a spectrum.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. And these things, these things like, "oh, testosterone" - like all that it's just like, "Actually, this is not true." And it was, it was definitely the most mind blowing one, as well as one that you're like, "This is so useful" for then, like, counteracting sort of transphobia and stuff. Yeah, I love that episode. That was amazing.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, definitely.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Um, which other ones - I, for me, I found it so interesting, having Evie Lupine on and talking about being asexual and kinky. And then like reframing kink as an intimacy practice, and it doesn't just have to be sexual. And this was so interesting for me because like I really have used that in my psychosexual therapy studies. Like, we had a case study that talked a lot about like asexuality and someone who's like asexual but still wants to be able to like engage with stuff with partners. And I've just found that like such a useful insight into like, first of all, what asexuality is and like how it's different for different people, and there might be different things you're willing and not willing to do, but also how like, you could introduce something like kink, which doesn't have to be sexual. I found that super interesting, for sure.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. I - that was kind of it was Evie's YouTube channel where I think I first came across just the fact that you could be asexual and kinky, because - and the whole idea of like kink beyond something that was part of sex, and it being its own intimacy practice, or hobby, or thing. Yeah, Evie's YouTube channel was like that was introduced me to that. And so it was good to get her on the podcast and kind of hopefully introduce that to more people.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Was good. I really loved the chat with Stacey Clare about being an ethical stripper. I think the thing about that episode that I found really interesting, and also I just like wasn't expecting to happen in our chat, was like how detailed she was about the history and the policies that have impacted strip clubs and sex workers. It was just like so detailed and so fascinating and also just like making you so angry. But yeah, it was really interesting to learn that history that I didn't know about. And also just the way that she presented, you know, sex workers' rights as also just part of this, like, broader workers' rights movement that we're also seeing, you know, play out now in our society and in our politics. And yeah, yeah. I really love that episode.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, like having Stacey on is such an example of like - because Stacey is a sex worker and that's a community and she also created her union, it's like an example of someone who so deep dives into topics and information and laws and facts that like directly influence like her and her community's life. And like, we would never just have that knowledge of ourselves, because it doesn't fully directly like impact us and just getting to like really understand all the minutiae and how everything is connected. And she was just so knowledgeable. I mean, she's written a book on it and like you can tell because, yeah, and just her passion. And I think like, also just really inspired that she's like, "Okay, this isn't working, like something's not right." And just completely educating yourself on the laws and loopholes and all that, and yeah, she was super inspiring. For sure.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, for sure. So somebody has asked: ever thought a guest's opinion was totally wrong? I can't think of anything off the top of my head, to be honest. The only thing that I could think of is maybe they would just say something in a way that's not how I would word it, or the language that I would use. But I can't think of any specific examples. I don't know if you can. Or do we even want to say?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think I remember like, there's sometimes people say stuff that's just different to other guests. And sometimes it's a bit hard to like flip flop between agreeing with them.
Hannah Witton
Oh, yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Like, I remember I have one example of a guest saying something like, in terms of dating or meeting someone you then have relationship with, it's like, "When you stop looking, that's when you find them" or something like that.
Hannah Witton
Oh.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
And I remember I remember someone saying that. And it's like, we've probably completely talked about the other thing in other situations. So.
Hannah Witton
Of being really intentional with dating. Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
So it's not necessarily that I'm like, "You're wrong." But it's like, "Okay, maybe I I don't agree with you." Or it's just interesting sometimes flipping between guests and the way people frame stuff is quite different. Or, for example, I think like, when talking about being a woman that's in a trans inclusive way, but then other people, maybe because of the work that they do, or the guests, they talk about, like, being a woman that is more about like, being a cis woman. And it's just like sometimes flipping between because everyone has a different experiences. And they're not necessarily like trans exclusive at all. But just the way that it's -
Hannah Witton
It's just that's the experience they're talking about.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Exactly. And it's because it's like more of their experience. You know what I mean? So I think it's not that we've thought people's experiences are wrong. It's just sometimes like, they can contrast from other guests', and then that's a bit funny.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, no, I can see that as well. Yeah. But that's the beauty of it. It's that, you know, it's all yes and. Yes and.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. Or like, "for me," you know. It's individuals, yeah.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, exactly. Someone has asked: are you interested in making a podcast more parenting focused, like the YouTube channel has? Um, no. But also, I don't - but maybe they're talking about the More Hannah channel because that YouTube channel's definitely become more parenting focused because it's a lifestyle channel, so it's about my life, but I don't think the Hannah Witton channel really has. We've had like the odd video here and there that's about like sex and intimacy after giving birth and things like that. And breastfeeding.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, no, I think the HW channel's stayed still pretty broad. And I think like, it's great having the podcast cover all sorts of topics. I think genuinely, if it became too parenting, I think I'd get less interested in it.
Hannah Witton
You'd be like, "No." Exactly. And I think that's a case for a lot of people as well. I'm trying to think if we've done any like parenting specific ones this season.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
We've had Jessica and Claudia, that was this season.
Hannah Witton
I think they were - I think they were the last - the season before.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I mean quite a few guests have had kids like -
Hannah Witton
Yeah, exactly
Mia Zur-Szpiro
- Nana Darkoa, I think she spoke about raising like a feminist child. And, you know, it's always really interesting to talk about that for sure, but I think like the beauty of the podcast -
Hannah Witton
It's not gonna become a parenting podcast. Never fear. It might come up because that's just the way of life.
Yeah. Okay, this next question is an interesting one, let's dissect. So this person has fully acknowledged, they've said: this is a sort of thought/question mess combo. So let's dive in. "I'm someone who's on the ace spectrum, but tends to be the higher sex drive partner in a relationship. The episode with Cody made me wonder how you deal with biased/one-sided opinions from guests." Ooh, this is kind of related to what we were saying before. "I feel as if there was a brief mention that asexuality is about attraction, not drive. And then the discussion went on with the assumption that ace people don't ever want sex or are never the ones to whom sex is important. I'm wondering if there's any behind the scenes discussions of this, including whether the Chantel episode was deliberately juxtaposed with that point of view." What an interesting question.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It's just a part of life. Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Such an interesting question.
Hannah Witton
I - yeah, go on. Did you have something to say?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Um, I think like there's a lot of different points within this. I think the first thing that comes up for me is like every person who comes on the podcast, even if there's like an overarching topic that we want to talk about, they are just an individual. So they're always really just going to be sharing their own opinion, or drawing on their own experiences. And so it'll very much happen that there's a theme and the way someone articulates or talks about something might not resonate with someone else who shares that same identity. So, especially something like asexuality, which is actually such a big term. You have like all the types of asexuality within that - demisexuality, greysexuality - and then you have like types of asexuality like sex repulsed, sex neutral. You know, it's such a big term that it'll be hard for one person to like fully include all types of asexual identity. So that's sort of my first feeling.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and I think also the bringing Chantel on wasn't deliberate in that sense. I think we wanted her on, one, to talk about the money stuff. We thought that was really interesting. And then also, because we'd had Cody on and Evie on to talk about asexuality, but we hadn't had someone to talk about demisexuality. Oh, wait, no -
Mia Zur-Szpiro
That's not true, because April and Renee.
Hannah Witton
April and Renee!
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. But it was interesting because like April and Renee are in a platonic life partnership. So, you know, everyone is then different, you know, so, like, "Okay, Chantel's demisexual but she's now married." And just, yeah, hearingdifferent people's opinions and experiences.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and also we don't, we don't want to fall into the trap of like, "Oh, we've had an asexual person, oh we've had a trans person like on the podcast."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Tick! Done! All sorted!"
Hannah Witton
"We've done that identity. Never - Let's never visit that topic or identity ever again." Yeah, so I think it's really interesting that this person noticed like a difference between those two episodes and peoples and their experiences of being on the ace spectrum. Not intentional but that's just gonna happen.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
In some ways, not intentional. We weren't like, "Okay, we've had Cody, now we have Chantel." But it was definitely like let's have different representations of asexuality.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And also when we - when we did at the beginning of me coming back from mat leave, when we did that big survey of my audience, and we asked people what topics that they wanted, asexuality was so popular.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
So big. Asexuality and demisexuality, those two were so, so popular. We were like, "We hear you!"
Hannah Witton
Yeah. Yeah, that's why we wanted to cover that a lot. So we've got some personal/advice questions. Let's see how we can - how we do. Somebody has said: how to find partners to have sex with without dating apps, or other people interfering with your dating life?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Such a good question.
Hannah Witton
Honestly, don't know.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
What do you think they mean by other people interfering with your dating life? Do you think that's people like judging you like, "Oh, why are you having sex with that person?" Or like -
Hannah Witton
Oh, my thought was setting them up. Being like, "Oh, you should get with this person."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Oh, okay, interesting, two very different interpretations.
Hannah Witton
That's what I was - yeah, we've come - we've answered your question with another question, please expand. Yeah, my general advice, when it comes to the question of how do you meet people, whether, you know, this person wants to have sex with them, or date, or whatever it is that you want to do. So the ultimate thing is like, how does one meet people? And I've always said, it's like you have to put yourself into the situations. You have to go to the places where like the demographic is like, who you want to -
Hannah Witton
- who you wanna meet. Yeah. Who you wanna have sex with. Like that - you've just need to - yeah, it's that annoying like "put yourself out there." I hate that. But it's like you, you know, it's like - oh no, I was about to say "you gotta play the numbers game" because - but that's like a very like pickup artistry like mentality. But let's just ignore them for a second. But it is to just kind of like, you know, you're not going to meet anyone just sitting at home not being on dating apps. So it's - and you also don't want anyone to interfere. So you don't necessarily - I don't think you want anyone to do the work for you in terms of like meeting people. So it's like, what things are you interested in? What things do you want to connect with people over? Who do you want to get with? Where are those people hanging out? Go to those places.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Have sex with?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, and also, like, what are the environments that you find easiest to talk to people? Like do you find it easier just to like dance and like connect with someone just through like, you know, grinding? And not having to chat? Or do you like to connect through like conversations and maybe then going to more of a space like that where it's not like loud music, maybe it's a talk that you can mingle after, you know, so also, I guess, connecting with who you are as a person, and the way that you socialise and feel like you can express yourself and then think about what environments are more conducive to that.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. I was reminded recently of some of my past behaviour. So this is something that I used to do in clubs when I used to go out and if I wanted to like flirt with somebody. You know those people in the toilets and clubs who like sell sprays of deodorant, or chewing gum, or sometimes lollipops. So I would buy two lollipops from this person. And then if I met someone that I wanted to keep talking to, or dance with, or flirt with, or whatever, if I wanted things to go somewhere, I would whip out the lollipops, and I would offer them a lollipop. And then I would also unwrap my lollipop and start sucking it.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Oh my god, you're a genius.
Hannah Witton
Right? Right?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
So clever.
Hannah Witton
Because it may sound really silly, but one, when you're doing something with your hands, people feel more comfortable, you know. That's why people are like, "If I've not got a drink in my hand, like, ah! What do I do with my hands."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Just like offering something to someone is actually quite an easy first interaction rather than like having to ask them a question.
Hannah Witton
Exactly.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I once chatted someone up in -
Hannah Witton
It's really innocent. It's got like that childish fun like cheeky element to it. And then you're doing something with your mouth, and so they're gonna be looking at your mouth, and you're sucking on a lollipop and it's sort of sexual.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Totally.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, that's my move. That was my move.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I once chatted someone up in a library by offering to share my orange with them.
Hannah Witton
Aw. "Do you want some of my orange?"
Mia Zur-Szpiro
It's a very similar scenario, but a lot more wholesome.
Hannah Witton
"Would you like my orange, library friend?"
Mia Zur-Szpiro
But yeah, no, I'm definitely gonna try that lollipop trick out in the club.
Hannah Witton
Do they still have people selling lollipops in clubs? If not, just bring your own lollipops.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah. That's such a good idea.
Hannah Witton
You're welcome. I hope we've somewhat answered your question. Okay, someone else has asked: how do you know you're ready for a baby and have that conversation with your partner? Oof. So. It's not just a conversation; it's gonna be like multiple conversations ongoing. I think that's kind of the foundation of the advice that I would give is that I don't think there's a time that's like too early. Like I remember, like, when I was dating someone once, and it was like, established on date one or date two, that he did not want kids. And I knew that I wanted to, so we both kind of were just like, "Cool. Well, this is just going to be what it is. But it's not going to go anywhere." And we're were both like fine with that. And I think really early on with me and Dan getting together also the topic of like, "Oh, do you want kids?" But maybe if they're already a partner, maybe you've established yes, you want kids, it's just then there's the conversation of like when. And that, again, is just going to be an ongoing conversation. Like, annoyingly, there's going to be like practical things that might impact your decision, like moving, or jobs, or money, and like all of those things. But I think - and this is something that I really stand by - is there's no perfect time to have a baby. And if you wait, if you're just like, "Let's wait until this, wait until this, wait until -" you're going to be waiting always for something to happen. And sometimes you just gotta go for it if it's something that you both really want.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, and I think, you know, as someone who isn't having a baby anytime soon, but would like to in the future, but is surrounded by a lot of people who've had babies, from my sisters and cousins to friends. I think in terms of the how you know you're ready. I think the thing that I would need to ask me, myself, is like, "Am I ready to give certain things up? Or sacrifice certain things?"
Hannah Witton
Yes. Yeah.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Because once you're pregnant, and once you have a baby, like, there are going to be things you have to give up. And I think there's the fact is, like you say about financial, feeling secure in your relationship if you're having it within the context of relationship. Do you feel like you have your support system? But then just like, really for yourself? You know? Am I ready to stop going out? Am I ready to give up alcohol, if you drink? Am I ready to like not be able to exercise?
Hannah Witton
Stop playing tennis?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Am I ready for my body to change? You know, like, I think just really trying to connect with yourself personally of where you're at? And like, "Actually, I think, yeah, it might be hard, but I think I could have that change." I think that's like, the questions I'll ask myself.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And also those changes would also be temporary. Like, there's a lot of sacrifices that Dan and I have made. And I think a lot of those sacrifices do happen in the early years. But you know, once they can get on a bus by themselves. I'll start playing tennis again. No.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yay.
Hannah Witton
Um, but yeah, I think just make sure that it's an ongoing conversation. And then sometimes things happen that are out of your control. The reason why Dan and I decided to have a baby when we did was because I had a doctor's appointment and they were like, "We're going to have to take out your bumhole at some point, and that surgery is going to reduce your fertility." And I left the hospital, rang Dan, and was like, "I got a ticking time bomb up my butt. Like, do you want to have - shall we do this?"
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Wow.
Hannah Witton
And so that was the conversation but we'd already had the conversation before of like, yes, we want to get married and we want to have kids. And so that then just was the kickstart of like, "Well, I guess let's start planning these things. Let's go."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
That's so interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, there's so many different factors. So many different factors.
Hannah Witton
So many. And then - what a question to end things on - but: are you curious to explore any new kinks?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Oh, wow.
Hannah Witton
Has there been anything in the podcast that's like piqued your curiosity, Mia? Or maybe they mean for like a video because we did the like trying rope bondage video as well.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Gosh, yeah. I was like, I haven't really talked about my sexual interests on your platform yet.
Hannah Witton
You do not have to. You do not have to. I think, you know, honestly, like I often struggle between my curiosity for things in an intellectual capacity and then my curiosity for things in like personal, because I'm pretty much curious about everything to do with sex, when it comes to just talking about it and learning about it. And then when it comes to my personal life, I'm like, "Nah, I'm good."
Mia Zur-Szpiro
I think with me, because I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I think like, my desire to explore different things will also come with like being with someone who I feel really secure with. And I think like, as I hopefully will like have another partnership at some point, my interests and desires to explore will absolutely like grow and go on a little journey. But I think like where I'm at in life at the moment is just feeling like I really want a strong sort of secure, loving connection to be at the foundation of what I then explore in intimacy. So that's where I'm at with the world.
Hannah Witton
That makes sense. There you go. If anyone's interested... no. "Reach out!"
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, I'm always, as you say, I'm always interested in hearing about like different people's kinks. And, you know, I'm going to be qualifying next year as a therapist, and I will be working a lot with people exploring their kinks. And like, something I definitely have loved is the work we've done here. I just feel like I've learned so much more about the multitude of people's sexualities and desires. And it's just like so individual and never changing. And that's like a beautiful part of working in this world.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. Oh, I love that. Um, well, thank you so much, Mia, for a wonderful podcast season.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Thank you, Hannah.
Hannah Witton
And thank you all so much for listening and your questions. And thank you so much to our patrons who support this podcast. I think I've talked a little bit about it on my YouTube channel and social media but basically, we are a independent podcast, like we've had a few like behind the scenes money changes. And so the Patreon support is what is, you know, keeping this podcast going. And like we said, we do these So... How Was That for You episodes, which you can find on the Patreon, if you want to go back and listen to some of those for the past season. They're basically shorter versions of this. But then like focused on one episode. Yeah, and yeah, we're gonna take a little break from the podcast now. But yeah, if you want to keep up to date with when we'll be back and what's going on then our Instagram is @doingitpodcast. Yeah. Anything you want to share or plug, Mia?
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Yeah, I think also just look out, like we loved having your suggestions early this year, so we'll definitely be doing another call out for like ideas, suggestions. So we love hearing from you guys. So definitely look out for that as well. But yeah, just thanks for listening. It's been a great season.
Hannah Witton
Thank you. Alright, bye.
Mia Zur-Szpiro
Bye!