Can You Apply Productivity Strategies to Dating? with Ali Abdaal
In this episode, Hannah chats to someone outside the sex ed and sex positivity bubble about their dating journey and experiences: Ali Abdaal, who is a doctor and YouTuber and makes content about productivity, tech, and living a healthy, happy life. Ali discusses the premium offerings from dating apps and what they actually give you, and also whether there's such a thing as being too independent to be able to fit a partner into your routine. He and Hannah talk about if we can learn anything from pick-up artists, and whether you can apply productivity theories to dating! Finally, Hannah asks whether Ali really does have a marriage folder in his email inbox to help him find a wife.
Read the episode transcript here!
SHOW NOTES
What we chat about…
Where is Ali currently at with dating?
What do the premium offerings on dating apps give you? How much do they cost? Why did Ali pick them?
Does Ali worry about a potential partner not fitting into his routine?
Living with someone platonically vs having a long-term partner
Practical and familial obligations when you're in a relationship
Spending intentional time with the people you're in a relationship with
Do Hannah and Dan have any date night rituals?
The media romanticising relationships
Ali's first crush in university
Aromanticism
How do we define romantic attraction?
The friendzone
How, in some conservative religious backgrounds, the objective isn't dating, the objective is marriage
Arranged marriages
Cultural differences in ideas of how we expect relationships to happen
What is a meet cute?
Advice about going on second dates
Ali's three date rule
Does Ali's humour sometimes go over people's heads?
Was Ali's marriage email address real? Did anyone email him? Was it serious or for lols?
Tynan (from The Game by Neil Strauss) using his mailing list to find dates
Problems with the gamification of dating
Pickup artists
Why does Ali want to be in a relationship?
Is dating an exception to the 80/20 rule? (33:44)
The 10,000 hour rule
Metacommunication
Communication and expectations in relationships
Crossover between sex and relationships and productivity
As a capitalist, how has money and popularity affected your dating experiences/relationship views? (45:45)
USEFUL LINKS
Alain de Botton, author of Relationships, and How to Think More About Sex
The Game by Neil Strauss
80/20 or the Pareto Principle
MORE ABOUT ALI ABDAAL
Ali Abdaal is a doctor, YouTuber and podcaster who explores the strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier, more productive lives.
CONNECT WITH US
*affiliate links