What Women Think About During Sex with Lucy-Anne Holmes

In this episode, Hannah is joined by Lucy-Anne Holmes, who is an author and activist. Lucy discusses the stories and the gorgeous illustrations in the new book she's edited called Women on Top of the World: What Women Think About When They're Having Sex, and also what she thinks about during sex herself. She and Hannah talk about Lucy's journey to becoming a sacred sexual priestess and the connection between spirituality and sexuality. Finally, Hannah and Lucy answer some of your questions from Instagram, like is it normal to think about what you're having for dinner during sex.

CW: mentions of abuse and forced sex fantasies. Timestamps to skip: 10:00 - 10:47 (47 seconds), 42:55 - 43:44 (49 seconds), 47:21 - 48:33 (one minute 12 seconds). These timestamps are without ads: you may or may not be served ads whilst listening to the episode which may change the time stamps. If you hear a section start and don’t want to listen, just skip ahead the length of the section to avoid it.

Read the episode transcript here!

SHOW NOTES

What we chat about…

  • How did Women on Top of the World come about?

  • The illustrations in Women on Top of the World

  • How did Lucy find the women to interview in her book and get them to talk to her about sex?

  • The diversity of the women involved

  • How different some of the stories are from each other

  • The common theme in a lot of stories of women feeling like they're fumbling their way through what they're doing

  • The lack of sex education around the world

  • Worrying about what you look like or smell like during sex

  • The difference between the younger and older women's confidence around sex

  • What does Lucy think about during sex?

  • Fantasies during sex

  • Thinking about the practical management of sex

  • The policing around having sexual fantasies

  • What made Lucy want to write her book about her own sex life? What was the process like sharing a sex memoir?

  • Lucy's previous romcom books

  • Starting the blog How to Start a Sexual Revolution

  • The top results if you search "beautiful sex" on Google

  • Lucy starting her own journey of sexual discovery

  • What is a sacred sexual priestess? How was Lucy introduced to the idea? What appealed to her about it?

  • The Goddess tradition

  • Is being a sacred sexual priestess a form of sex work?

  • How does Lucy practice specifically?

  • Is it normal to think about what you're having for dinner while having sex? (32:20)

  • What are common things people think about during sex other than the sex itself? (37:24)

  • What does it mean when I often think about scenarios different from what is actually happening? (40:43)

  • Any links between life factors and people who have embodied sex? (44:39)

USEFUL LINKS

MORE ABOUT LUCY-ANNE HOLMES

Lucy-Anne Holmes is a writer, actress and campaigner living in Sussex. She is the author of three previous novels which were published in ten countries, and of Don't Hold My Head Down, her funny and eye-opening personal sexual odyssey. Lucy-Anne was also the founder of the No More Page 3 campaign to convince the owners and editors of The Sun newspaper to cease its Page 3 feature, which showed photos of topless models. The newspaper withdrew this feature as a result of the movement. When she is not working on Women on Top of the World, Lucy-Anne is on a training course to become a sacred sexual priestess.

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