Finding Out You're Pregnant at 5 Months and Mental Health with Yasmin Johal | Transcript
Find the episode shownotes here!
Hannah Witton
Nightcap. Is that still advice that people give, or is that not allowed?
Yasmin Johal
What, like whiskey on gums and stuff?
Hannah Witton
Yeah, like make them pass out, I don't know. Do not take my advice, I have no idea about parenting.
Hannah Witton
Welcome to Doing It with me, Hannah Witton, where we talk all things sex, relationships, dating, and our bodies.
Hannah Witton
Hello, welcome back. So this is the first episode that I recorded with a guest with the new fancy microphones. So maybe you'll notice the difference, maybe not, hopefully! Also, you may hear in this episode some cute baby noises in the background, because I went to Yasmin Johal's house, and her baby Remy was there, obviously, and somehow he managed to stay mostly quiet for the time that we were recording, but then there are some cute baby noises. So cute, so cute.
Hannah Witton
So this chat with Yasmin is all about how she found out she was pregnant at five months, and this was whilst being a student at university. We talk about her mental health experiences with pregnancy, and being a young mom, and also her foray into the world of mummy blogging. Yasmin is an amazing and resilient woman, and actually, since recording this episode, she has graduated! Well done Yasmin, everyone go send her massive congrats on social media, and I hope you enjoy this episode.
Hannah Witton
So you have a baby?
Yasmin Johal
I do. Yeah, he's not really a baby.
Hannah Witton
No, you have a toddler?
Yasmin Johal
Oh, yes, I have a toddler.
Hannah Witton
And I just wanted to talk to you because you have a very unique pregnancy story.
Yasmin Johal
Yes. Just a three months long pregnancy.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. Which doesn't mean that you actually pregnant for three months, you still did the full term.
Yasmin Johal
Yes.
Hannah Witton
You only knew about it for three months.
Yasmin Johal
For three months, yeah.
Hannah Witton
Bit of backstory. Like what, what were you doing with your life?
Yasmin Johal
Okay, so I mean, not a lot. I was at the end of my second year of uni when I got pregnant. And I'd been with my partner, the father of the baby, Danny for two or three weeks. And then we had a lovely summer, where I had a lot of morning sickness. So I went to the doctors, and I was like, why am I throwing up all the time? Why do I feel so sick? I've taken two pregnancy tests, so it's obviously not pregnancy, and -
Hannah Witton
Did they come back negative, or like inconclusive? What do they say?
Yasmin Johal
A bit of both. Like they sort of, pregnancy tests are quite hard to figure out anyway. Like, sometimes someone will upload a photo of a positive one. And I'm like, where is the line? Like, I can't even see it. So I think I potentially could have read them wrong, or I might not have just understood, but I went to the doctors and they did one there. And within like a minute, he was like, you're not pregnant, here's the pill. Like he just didn't even want to hear me out. He was just like, you're irresponsible. Here is the pill. Don't have any, like scary pregnancy mistakes again. But I didn't take the pill, because I wanted to like figure out what was wrong with me first.
Hannah Witton
So even the tests he did, like the GP -
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
- came back, just like nah, you're not -
Yasmin Johal
Yeah. And then a separate doctor thought I was pregnant. So she had a feel of my tummy when I was five months pregnant. And she was like, yeah, no baby in there. Which is wild, because I had a very big baby.
Hannah Witton
Had you gained any weight, like physically had you noticed any difference in your body?
Yasmin Johal
Not really, but it's funny now like, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I realised how many symptoms there were that were like, staring us in the face. So about a week before I found that I was pregnant, we noticed that my back was arching and Danny was like, you need to stand up straight, like you're sticking your tummy out, what you doing? And I was, I think I've got bad posture, because I literally couldn't stand up straight. And I was like, pushing backwards. And I was like, maybe I need to start doing yoga. Like, this is weird. I was just sticking my tummy out so much.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Yasmin Johal
And then when I found out I was pregnant, it turns out like biologically, pregnant women spines go inwards, so that there's like room for the baby. But obviously, I just didn't think of that as something -
Hannah Witton
But like, even if you did have all these symptoms, like you might for a second be like, oh, I'm pregnant. But then if you have all these tests, and doctors telling you, you're not, then -
Yasmin Johal
Exactly. So I just went on living my life for like months. And then one fateful evening, my nipple started leaking, and that was when I actually got a bit concerned because I did the Googling that you're not meant to do. And it came up with like, all types of cancers and stuff -
Hannah Witton
"You're gonna die."
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, so I was like, okay, I'm going back to the doctors again, this time in Leeds. My doctors, by this point, was just better in general, and they just listened to me a lot more. So I felt a lot more comfortable. And they, the first thing they thought was that I was pregnant. Also, I didn't have my period for this whole time, which is another reason I thought I was pregnant because I didn't have a period for five months.
Hannah Witton
Because were you on any contraception?
Yasmin Johal
No. I'm quite embarrassed to admit like, when people are like, how did you end up pregnant? I'm like, I didn't use contraception, and that is how that happens. So.
Hannah Witton
All of the symptoms staring you in the face.
Yasmin Johal
But I knew I was pregnant the whole time. I was the one telling the doctors I was pregnant, and they were like, no, you're not. We've checked, and you've checked, and you're not. And then my fifth pregnancy test came back positive. And I was, I think it was my fifth.
Hannah Witton
So we talked a bit about this before we started recording, but like, what then happened? Like, how did you get that positive like, you are pregnant? And then, like, what the hell was going through your mind? Like what happened?
Yasmin Johal
Well, annoyingly, I had to call the doctors because I had a missed call two days after they'd sent off the pregnancy test, and they haven't left a voicemail or anything. So I just called them because I, by this point, I didn't think I was pregnant. I just didn't know what was going on. So I was like, hey, have my test results come back? And the receptionist just told me on the phone, she was like, yeah, your results have come back. You're pregnant. And I was really upset, because I didn't want to be pregnant. And I was really, I was just a lot of things. Especially because at that point, I didn't know how pregnant I was. So I could have been five months pregnant, or it could have been two weeks, I had no idea and it was just a really weird feeling. You assume if you're going to get that news, I always thought if I found that I was pregnant, it would be when I wanted to be, and that I planned for it, and it was good news. But instead I was in a car, on the way to uni to do group work. Danny was dropping me off like, lovely Danny, who, we'd only been together for six months, and we're in such a honeymoon phase, and everything was perfect, and I was like, oh, no, a baby's gonna come and ruin everything. So yeah, it was a pretty scary week. Danny held it together for both of us and made it seem a lot nicer. So he bought like cute, tiny baby clothes and was like, how can you be scared? Look how tiny and cute this onesie is. Like, we got this little pumpkin onesie, because it was no Halloween, and I think thinking of it as him, a baby, and not it like this horrible curse on me, it was like, oh, it's it's a baby, babies are lovely. I didn't want one, but they're nice. And I came around pretty quickly. And it was just the idea of us being a family, and even though it was completely not what I'd planned and I was about to start my third year of uni, and it was not how I thought the next year was gonna go. When I thought about it, it wasn't actually the end of the world. It was like, I'm about to start a family with the person I love. I'm just doing it 10 years ahead of plan. Just got to like, reevaluate my whole life. But it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was.
Hannah Witton
And then how was those last three months of your pregnancy?
Yasmin Johal
They were horrible. As soon as we found out that Remy existed, the symptoms came. Like that week he started kicking, my bump just appeared out of nowhere, just all sorts.
Hannah Witton
Because you were five months pregnant. Or in pregnancy terms, 20, what did you say it was?
Yasmin Johal
Like 25 weeks. So I think the day I found out, I was exactly five months pregnant, or I had exactly four months to go, I think, three months. Let me figure it out. I found that in October, he was born in February.
Hannah Witton
And so soon as your brain knew, your body just went okay, let's go?
Yasmin Johal
Okay, let's catch you up really quickly. And all the symptoms came and they were very full on, like they are in your third trimester. It was like, I couldn't sleep on my back because of the bump. And I like to sleep on my back. So sleeping just got really horrible. All the sickness came back, and because we were so far behind on the pregnancy, I had to go to the hospital like three or four times a week.
Hannah Witton
Oh really? Was that just for like regular checkups, just because yeah, they hadn't been monitoring you?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah. And so there was also, it was a bit scary because there were certain tests that can only be done at certain times. So they have a test for I think it's down syndrome, which can only be done at 10 weeks. So there were certain things which they can't actually tell the further along you get. But they could tell us the sex of the baby, and they could tell us that he was healthy. So like, that's fine. And pretty much as soon as he said he looks fine, we're okay with that. But it was just it was because we hadn't known anything for so long. It was almost like we wanted to know everything, but we couldn't, so we just sort of like let's wait and see. And also the due date that they gave us. Normally that's bang on, but because I was so far along, it was like it could have been a few weeks either way.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. Because it's like, when was your last period and you're like, ah.
Yasmin Johal
I don't know. Yeah, so it was quite, it was all a bit up in the air. But he actually was born on the due date that they gave us.
Hannah Witton
Two days before me.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Good month, February. Out of curiosity, are you using contraception now? What's the situation?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, I have the one that's in your arm.
Hannah Witton
The implant.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, I have that. I got it fit in December. So once my period started coming back, because after you give birth, your periods are all over the place, and it's the worst. And then they come back in full force, like the blood of 10 periods. It was horrible. And then once that kind of settled down, I got the implant fitted in December, had a really bad month on that, like very bad.
Hannah Witton
Did it settle?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, it gave me depression, but in a very extreme way. I think my body reacts very strongly to hormones. So during my pregnancy, my mental health was all over the place from the hormones. And then postpartum was very bad. I got postpartum anxiety, depression type thing. And then again, when I got this influx of hormones from the implant, I got this feeling that I just wanted to, like, run away from my life, my lovely life, look how lovely it is. And I was just like, yeah, I don't want this anymore. It's, it's a no for me. I'm going to move in with my mum. And then like a week later, everything calmed down in my body. And I was like, that was weird. I'm actually really happy.
Hannah Witton
Oh, so you still have the implant?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Oh, wow.
Yasmin Johal
But at the time I went to the doctors, like -
Hannah Witton
Was it your body adjusting?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, but I didn't really think about it logically, I wasn't like, I need to let this calm down. I just went to the doctors and was like, I need this out of me right now. But it was a few days before Christmas. So they were like, we actually can't do that for a few more weeks, and even then there's a waiting list. And I was like, no, you don't understand like, it's an emergency. And then, basically, I never spoke to them again. But by that point, it just calmed down. It was really weird.
Hannah Witton
I, but I also find that a lot of doctors, unfortunately, you can't expect them to follow up.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
You have to be like really vigilant. Like with my health stuff, it always is, like me calling up to be like, hey, what's happening next, like, this thing. And I can't imagine what it's like for people who maybe like need advocating for and like, can't do that themselves. And like just getting lost in the system, and not getting the care that they need, and stuff. But oh, man.
Yasmin Johal
I think the problem of mental health stuff, as well, is you already feel like a burden. So you don't want them be, you're in the opposite position to be calling up a doctor and being like, no, you have to help me, because you already feel like you're a burden on everyone around you. So why would you want to, like, bother the doctor, even though it's their job.
Hannah Witton
There's this professional, who's got better things to be doing. But obviously, that's not the case.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Do you want to talk about postpartum anxiety depression stuff? Or do you not want to go into it, you don't have to?
Yasmin Johal
I mean, I don't mind talking about it. But it's more that it was such a blur. Because life then was such a blur, because we did not sleep properly for a few months.
Hannah Witton
How did you know that's what it was?
Yasmin Johal
Two months before I gave birth, I got what I thought was mild depression. But it was actually quite major anxiety. I think they must have similar symptoms. But I just because I've always had sort of social anxiety, and I think what I thought anxiety was is very different to what it is. Obviously it's a it's a whole bunch of things and it's different for everyone. But I went to the doctors because I was crying like multiple times a day, this was when I was pregnant, and I just felt really really low. I felt very like unsure of my life choices.
Hannah Witton
If you hear that cough, that is the toddler, Remy.
Yasmin Johal
Choking on his vegetarian ham. Yeah, I think I think I just thought, oh, I feel really sad, so I must be depressed. But I went to the doctors and they were like, really, it's anxiety. But also, we'd find it weird, given your situation, if you didn't have some kind of anxiety because you've just found out you're pregnant, really pregnant, and you didn't plan for it, and all of this stuff. So they didn't take it too seriously, they sent me to like a few classes and gave me some like numbers I could call if I felt really low.
Hannah Witton
I guess more of like, we're going to help you manage this situation rather than manage like your brain chemistry.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah. But also obviously when you're pregnant, they don't want to be putting you on meds or anything like that. And that, in general, is a bit of a last resort, I think. So a few months, or a month or two after I gave birth, I had similar feelings again, where I was crying a lot, and I was just very hormonal and it could have been mostly that. But then I'd read a lot of stuff on mum Instagram of people that felt the same and it was that whole you know, it's not normal to feel like this, and you do need to talk to someone, and this isn't just part and parcel of like having a baby, you're not meant to feel down everyday, you're not meant to be crying all the time. And it was sort of then that I realised it wasn't normal but for me, I didn't want to go back to the doctor because I didn't want to be sent to these classes that don't do anything again and stuff. So I just spoke to other mums who are feeling in a similar way, and that just helped me manage it.
Hannah Witton
Perfect, and then did it pass or?
Yasmin Johal
It passed until I went on the implant.
Hannah Witton
Right.
Yasmin Johal
And then I got it all again. But then this time I went to the doctor and I got put on citalopram, which is an antidepressant. I think, I'm not on a very a strong dose, I think it was more, well she said it's more like a boost. Like I didn't need it, I don't need to rely on it, but to sort of boost my serotonin. Yeah, basically, it would just give me a bit of a boost that I need. And after a few weeks of being on that, I just felt so much better. But equally, I think my hormones are just chilled out a little bit.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Yasmin Johal
So yeah, that was like three months ago, and I'm completely, so much better now. I mean, I'm very stressed because of uni, but that's circumstantial.
Hannah Witton
Oh, yeah. So to backtrack, you found out you were pregnant as you were meant to be starting third year.
Yasmin Johal
I had started it.
Hannah Witton
And you did, did you do one term?
Yasmin Johal
Yes. I finished a month before I gave birth, so I finished in January and Remy came in February. So I basically done a whole semester, apart from my dissertation prep. And then I just went back maybe six months later to do the dissertation prep, and then went back the following January to do it all and do everything.
Hannah Witton
So now you're like, full time mum, full time student, full time mummy blogger. All of these things.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
What is it actually like being a student and having a baby? Like, what, what is there in terms of like support?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, as far as I'm aware, not a lot, unless my uni is not very good. Because financially, pretty much nothing, I get less now than I did before I had for Remy, which I don't understand.
Hannah Witton
That's ridiculous, because you get like a student baby allowance, but then that cancels your maintenance, your regular student loan, which would have been more -
Yasmin Johal
And also it pays for, because they only pay for 80% of his nursery, which is only two days a week anyway. So we have to pay for the other 20% which then comes out of the parents grant that they give us.
Hannah Witton
Oh, so you're paying for it anyway, because it's coming, because it has to come out of your grant. Hmm.
Yasmin Johal
So financially not great, which obviously, finances tend to impact on everything now.
Hannah Witton
Do uni's have a creche? I feel like -
Yasmin Johal
No, so many people have asked me that, so maybe some unis do, but mine does not. It's like it's a sports uni as well, so it's just very different to a lot of other unis.
Hannah Witton
I didn't know any, like, young parents when I was at uni, but I have this weird memory of someone telling me about the existence of a creche.
Yasmin Johal
Maybe used to. It seems like the kind of thing they would have done before, and then got rid of during cuts and stuff.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Yasmin Johal
Because to be fair, I only know like two other student mums, and they're not at my uni. I don't think I know any at my uni, there's probably some, maybe but -
Hannah Witton
I feel like there's probably there's more like parents who are students, but they like do like all three years of uni with a child.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Like they have kids and then they go to uni.
Yasmin Johal
Or they'll do like part time studies, or distance learning, or whatever. But mine, I wouldn't have chosen to do what I'm doing, but I was so close to the end. I was like literally a few months off -
Hannah Witton
You were like, I have to finish.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And so you've done your dissertation. Congrats.
Yasmin Johal
Thanks.
Hannah Witton
What was it on?
Yasmin Johal
It was, it's such a cliche. It was on -
Hannah Witton
YouTube, blogging?
Yasmin Johal
Instagram.
Hannah Witton
I was close.
Yasmin Johal
It was about how Instagram has made veganism cool, basically.
Hannah Witton
And you've now very much gotten into like the mummy Instagram world, and you've mentioned like -
Yasmin Johal
Whivh I always said I was not going to do -
Hannah Witton
I don't know, because obviously I followed you online before all of this.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And then you disappeared from the internet for a while. I think you weren't posting stuff. And then next thing I know, like mutual friends of ours were like, have you heard? Yasmin's back, and she like made a video, she's like five months pregnant. I was like, what?
Yasmin Johal
She's back, and she's pregnant.
Hannah Witton
And like, what has, I guess what's that been like? What is mummy internet like, from the inside?
Yasmin Johal
Oh, man. It's, um -
Hannah Witton
I'm so on the outside, peering in, just like yes, it's fascinating, and terrifying.
Yasmin Johal
From what I've seen of all the different niches of internet, and genres, like gaming, and beauty, and stuff. I personally think family and mummy blogging is the least diverse out of any of them.
Hannah Witton
Oh really.
Yasmin Johal
Which is saying a lot because none of them are very diverse.
Hannah Witton
Diverse in terms of like race?
Yasmin Johal
In terms of everything, pretty much. The thing with fashion and beauty, that's getting a lot more diverse in every sense of the word. But with family stuff, everyone is generally I'd say 30 or over, most of the successful people. They're definitely all white. They're definitely all comfortable financially, whether it's because of the blogging or they already were that way, and they're all very proper mums, proper mumsy mums. And I think because I'm 22, and I'm brown, and I have tattoos and piercings, and so does Danny, and we're vegan/vegetarian family. Like we're very, very different to what works in family blogging. And a big reason why that's scary is that like, I never cared about criticism in the past. I never really had negative comments cuz I'm not like, famous enough. But I didn't really have that that much. But I think the difference now is when you do get criticised, you get criticised on your parenting, or the type of parent you've chosen to be, like, oh, you're raising your kid vegetarian, or even just you're choosing to put your child online, or your kid doesn't have a bedtime? And it's just like, yeah, leave me alone. Like, these are my choices, and it feels a lot more personal to be attacked for your parenting than anything else, or it does for me anyway.
Hannah Witton
Do you feel like you maybe get it slightly different or more, because you're young?
Yasmin Johal
I think so. I think because the ideal family, or the ideal mum in society is everything that mummy bloggers are. So you know that mum at the school gates that's like -
Hannah Witton
Got her shit together.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, got her shit together, got a gleaming Volvo, and like, she's on the PTA, and all of that stuff. That mummy blogger, that is like that, is therefore like, a "good mum". I'm doing air quotes. Because yeah, so so it relates in that way, in the same way that like, you'd only want to watch a beauty blogger who's good at doing makeup, sort of thing. And if someone deems that as like a good mom, they're gonna prefer to watch her -
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I guess it depends on like why people watch like family vloggers. Is it for how to's, or is it for like that relatability? And also, like, you kind of touched on it, but there's like, a huge class divide.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
In terms of YouTube, Instagram, and all of that. And so thinking about it, I don't see many families and stuff who are going, hey, we're broke this month. Yeah, you know, they don't talk about that.
Yasmin Johal
I do that, a lot.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. And I don't watch a huge amount of like, the family internet side of things. But -
Yasmin Johal
I think it's because with having a family comes like a sense of pride. Like, you don't want to say I'm broke, because people are gonna be like, well, why did you have a child, if you don't have loads of money and stuff? But I think with me, in particular, I know that most of my audience don't have kids themselves.
Hannah Witton
Yeah.
Yasmin Johal
So I think I get a lot of comments, congratulating me on being so authentic, and so relatable. But that's because they're from teenagers that are like, you've made me less scared to one day have a family, because you make it look really fun, and cool, and interesting. But I don't necessarily think a lot of families watch me, because we're not that aspirational family today. I mean, we live in like a one bedroom flat in Leeds, and I think with a lot of stuff online, people want that like aspirational content.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. At least when I started on the internet, it was very, like relatable content.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And now, and I think I definitely switch into it as well, like now that I am earning money as well. So like, naturally my content is going to be it's part of my life as well. So just kind of moves on, and I'm like, oh, like, is my content aspirational? Or is it still relatable? Like, I don't know. But I think I watch probably quite a lot of aspirational, and then you just get into that comparison mode.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, cuz I didn't even realise I'm doing it. I found another couple on YouTube who were young parents, so they're, like, early 20s. And I was like, oh, cool, like, that's gonna be so relatable. So their child's the same age as Remy. Over the past year, their YouTube's gotten really big, and it's now both of their full time job, and they're going on two week holidays to LA. And I'm like, oh, now I just feel really bad about what I've achieved in the last year, or the fact that we were the same ish, like a year ago. And now they're doing all this really cool stuff.
Hannah Witton
I think it's tricky because you, you see things like that happen. Like we say that this industry is so saturated. And then like you say, like someone who's like a small creator a year ago now has managed to break out of that and do it full time. So you're like, there's always hope, anyone can make it. But there is such an element of luck to it as well. Yeah, like you can work your ass off, but you never know what is going to happen. And I guess it has become, like accidentally, I guess they've become aspirational. Even though they started out as relatable, and then it's just like, oh shit, how did this happen -
Yasmin Johal
I think is difficult as well, actually. Because I know when I've, say when I've been to SitC and stuff, and you know, the panels where it's like.
Hannah Witton
Which is Summer in the City.
Yasmin Johal
Summer in the City, yeah. And it's like How to Succeed on YouTube. And people are always like, be original, have a niche, do something different. And I do think what we're doing is different. But it isn't as simple as just doing the different thing, you have to do the different thing -
Hannah Witton
And like, is there an audience for that?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah. And there has to be an audience for it, and also the audience needs to find it. And they can't find it if you're just still small. So it is, it's like you said it's just it's a random viral video, or it's like, I don't know. How do people find content these days?
Hannah Witton
I still think like word of mouth.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, I guess so.
Hannah Witton
But like, I don't know, word of mouth on social media, which is just people sharing stuff, and like recommending like, have you seen that.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
It's such a minefield. You you kind of touched on it a little bit. But like, how do you navigate like what you share of Remy and your family online and stuff?
Yasmin Johal
Like I said earlier, I've not really figured it out yet. But I think I'm just gonna, I think I'm comfortable sharing quite a lot of him at the moment, within reason. Not like, bath pics, which a lot of people still do. But I think just sharing our everyday life is fine. But I do think maybe when he starts becoming like an actual little person with a personality, and also when he notices the camera more, because he plays with it a lot now, and sometimes I'm like, I almost don't want him to get used to having a camera following him all the time.
Hannah Witton
Yeah. But I always think that like kids these days are just gonna be so used to phones and stuff like -
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, oh my God, he loves my phone. But you do feel bad, which is silly, because that is just how life is now. But you do sort of feel bad, like I feel weird that his favourite thing to play with is a phone, but also they're so much fun.
Hannah Witton
So fun, colourful, you tap it.
Yasmin Johal
So many buttons. So I think, yeah, I'll carry on filming him. And then maybe like when we have baby number two.
Hannah Witton
Baby number two.
Yasmin Johal
I'll move on to baby number two, and Remy will be old news.
Hannah Witton
The internet's moved on from you Remy, sorry, got another got tiny, tiny one to contend with. Do you have plans for baby number two? Or is that one day, someday, who knows?
Yasmin Johal
If Danny listens to this, he's gonna be like, you did not tell me that. Every time -
Hannah Witton
Okay, what is, you were like, you've got to bring out a spreadsheet. Like, okay, this is the plan?
Yasmin Johal
Well, me and Danny are very much like, oh, we're probably gonna have another baby, and this is gonna happen. But then like, sometimes he'll go on my Twitter or my YouTube and be like, why have you been telling the internet that we're having a baby next year?
Hannah Witton
Yeah, I - my partner doesn't watch my YouTube, and then I forget to tell him things that are like happening in my life. And then something will happen, and he'll be like, you didn't tell me that. Well, you should follow me on social media.
Yasmin Johal
See, Danny says he doesn't pay attention to my stuff, but I think he does. I would, if he did YouTube. I'd be like, I want to know if you talk about me.
Hannah Witton
I would watch all of it, and like have him on notification.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, me too. So I think he's a big fat liar. But I, even though the thought of doing all of this again, the thought of having a nine month long pregnancy scares me. I know I had one. But because I wasn't aware for that long. Even the few months I did know -
Hannah Witton
But you said morning sickness at the beginning, but was that your only symptom?
Yasmin Johal
I did, but when I thought of it as like to see an illness, it wasn't that bad. I think I'd be a lot more dramatic if I knew it was pregnancy.
Hannah Witton
Like I'm pregnant. I've got morning sickness
Yasmin Johal
For nine months, I'd just be like, Danny, you have to do everything because I'm pregnant. Sorry, Danny.
Hannah Witton
And then you don't tell Danny until you're five months pregnant? No, don't do that. I would tell him.
Yasmin Johal
Surprise.
Hannah Witton
What's been the biggest thing you've learned? Well, how old are you when he was born? 21?
Yasmin Johal
21, yeah. I think I've done a complete 180 as a person, but I didn't realise before the journey. And also during, it's only now I think I've come out of the past two years, a pretty decent person. And I think, I think when I started, so when I met Danny, and I was 20, and I just got pregnant, I was very, not even self involved. I was just very selfish. And because I'm the youngest of my siblings, I was very much used to being treated like a baby, like a baby. Like, I'd get my mum to do everything for me. And I think -
Hannah Witton
And you were a student.
Yasmin Johal
And yeah, and I think I was such a student. I didn't go to any classes, and I just drank all the time, and I had no responsibilities. It was so good. I think I've basically just become an adult in the past two years, which isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought adulthood would be horrible, but it's actually just having responsibility for Remy, has made me more responsible for myself as well. Yeah, so just basic stuff.
Hannah Witton
I always think about the fact that if I'm cooking for myself, I eat absolute shit. Whereas if I'm cooking for like someone else, and my partner, I'm like, I'll put it I'll make an effort.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, well, no, it's things like that, like I used to eat. I mean, I still do sometimes. But I used to have beige food all day, just like potatoes for every meal. But then when it comes to Remy, I'm like, oh, he needs to have like, two portions of fruit with his breakfast and he just pureed vegetables for lunch. Like I'm so on it with him. But then it's like if you care so much about him, but not yourself. So it's just basically, I've learned to like look after myself, and caring for Danny and Remy has just made me a better person because, not caring isn't like looking after Danny -
Hannah Witton
Yeah
Yasmin Johal
I mean like caring about a person. It's just nice. Like, it's nice to like love other people that much, which sounds super basic. But if you knew me two years ago, you'd know how horrible I was.
Hannah Witton
I think you're being hard on yourself.
Yasmin Johal
No, honestly, I think I didn't realise at the time, but sometimes I think back to things I did or said, and I was like, I can't imagine myself doing or saying that. So I must have been, I must have not noticed.
Hannah Witton
I only knew you through your videos then. Yeah. It was just you in your like student halls, just getting drunk, and turning on a camera and being like, hey.
Yasmin Johal
I'd have a drink in my hand in every video.
Hannah Witton
I think that's why I like to videos because, like, when I was watching your videos, during that time, I also was getting drunk a lot in videos. And so it was like, this girl so relatable, look at her like getting drunk, same. And then now you've matured, I've matured, and I'm like, I still like her content.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, I know what you mean. I think a lot of that was like a confidence thing. And also, it's weird being at uni and making videos because you'll meet random people at uni, like mutual friends, that watch your videos, but, but they don't watch them as like, you know, they look up to you, they just watch them out of curiosity, which is weirder, because then it's like you meet these people that know loads of stuff about you, and you don't even know their name, but you're kind of friends with them.
Hannah Witton
I would get recognised on nights out.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
And I think when I started uni, I had like, 3000 subscribers. So it was, and also it was 2011. So it was all very new, and everyone was like, what the hell.
Yasmin Johal
The YouTube Girl.
Hannah Witton
Being like, what is she doing. And I think it took a lot of, frustratingly, I think, for people to kind of like not laugh about it behind your back, you have to be somewhat successful.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah.
Hannah Witton
Which is really annoying. You can't just like do it as a hobby. Well you can, obviously you can do that, but I feel like people who don't get it are just slightly more judgmental.
Yasmin Johal
Because then you're the weird girl.
Hannah Witton
Like, yeah, why are you doing this if you're not good at it? Or not well, good in what they see as success.
Yasmin Johal
So if you don't have like, a big audience, then nobody likes what you do. So why are you doing it? Oh my God, that means I was the weird YouTube girl. I only had like, 1000 subscribers, I was her. That's fine.
Hannah Witton
That's fine. But like, sometimes when I think about it, like, even if you have like, 500 followers, like, I don't know 500 people?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, I know about 12.
Hannah Witton
It was in this book that I read recently, Sapiens, it was about like, actually, as humans, like, how many people we have the cognitive ability to keep track off of like, who they are. And it's about like, 100 people. So you don't have to, like know them, but like, through like gossip and through like, talking to other people about other people like about 100 people is kind of like, what you can kind of store in your brain of like, kind of knowing knowing what they're up to, and what they've done.
Yasmin Johal
Oh, I wonder who my 100 people are.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, and then, this wasn't from this book, this is just something that I heard like, years ago and I've no idea how true it is. But apparently, you can only get about seven people who you're like super close to, who you like see regularly, like really do know what's going on their life, and also like how they're feeling and stuff like that. But then once you, if you then get a romantic partner, it drops to like three other people or something.
Yasmin Johal
That makes sense.
Hannah Witton
That you have, like the time and energy to know other people that like intimately and that intensely. I was like, that's really sad, but also, I think I understand.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, because before I met Danny, I'd never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or anything, and I remember thinking I would never be that person who like, I guess the way people phrase it is that you drop your friends for your partner. But it's not like that, but I know that when I met Danny, it was the fact that he made obviously so much more effort with me, as a partner, you spend all your time with them, like they make more effort, you care about them more, and they care about you more. And actually, yeah, I think I did end up becoming that person. And it does make sense because yeah, you can't keep up with all your friends, can you.
Hannah Witton
I always think about like what was I doing with my time then? Before you get together with your partner like with all the time that you spend with them, what were you actually doing at that time before?
Yasmin Johal
I had so much free time though. When I think back to myself in my first year of uni, I had so much free time. Because I didn't go to uni, and I didn't have a job, so I had all day. I don't think I did YouTube either. I literally did nothing.
Hannah Witton
What's your routine with Remy now?
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, there isn't one. A lot of people ask me to do like a -
Hannah Witton
Baby routine.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah. A what I do in a day or whatever. We do not have a routine, but generally he'll get up at like sixish -
Hannah Witton
Talking about you!
Yasmin Johal
By nine, I'm just shattered and done with the day. But then we have to like go do a thing. So we tend to just, we usually just like go for a walk, or go to soft play, or go see one of my friends or something. And then we just chill for most of the day here, pretty much, and then he goes to bed at 10pm because he is the worst child.
Hannah Witton
He is a wild child, staying up late.
Yasmin Johal
I know, we need to get a routine. Maybe mummy bloggers are gonna come in handy, I'll watch all the like routine videos.
Hannah Witton
How to get your baby to sleep?
Yasmin Johal
Very useful.
Hannah Witton
Nightcap. Is that still advice that people give? Or is that not allowed?
Yasmin Johal
What, like whiskey on gums and stuff? Was that ever actually advice? Was that not -
Hannah Witton
I don't know. Maybe in the 50s? I don't know.
Yasmin Johal
Yeah, maybe. I could try it. We have gin.
Hannah Witton
I feel like my parents talked about giving me brandy or something as a child, but -
Yasmin Johal
If we don't enjoy it, why would they? Well, they're not meant to enjoy it, are they?
Hannah Witton
Yeah, it's just supposed to like make them pass out. I don't know. Do not take my advice, I have no idea about parenting. We'll see, you're like oh, we have some gin.
Yasmin Johal
Off the record, we'll see.
Hannah Witton
Is there anything that you would like to plug? Anything you want to share?
Yasmin Johal
Oh my God, I have so many things I'd like to plug. I'm joking, just my YouTube youtube.com/Yasmin Johal. I make, I pretty much just do family vlogs at the moment of what we're up to, because I'm lazy. I'm going to start doing more videos soon. And also my Instagram, because I love Instagram at the moment.
Hannah Witton
Yeah, your Instagram's great. Would recommend following Yasmin on Instagram.
Yasmin Johal
Aw thank you. Me too. I would if I could, but I can't.
Hannah Witton
Right, let's go play with this child.
Hannah Witton
Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, I would really appreciate it if you left a rating and a review. You can find show notes at DoingItPodcast.co.uk do go follow us on social media, @DoingItPodcast on Twitter and Instagram. And I'll catch you in the next episode.
Hannah Witton
This was a Global original podcast.